Friday, October 8, 2010

Sessions Chapter 41 - Thank You

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

Sandy Point - 11:30 AM

"Almost home," Jimmy remarked, glancing sideways at her as they stopped for the light near the Sandy Point bridge.  Rayne had slept through most of the trip.  The glass felt hot against her cheek, sunlight at its worst.  She fought with the hand crank and rolled down the window.  Her head ached. 

"Ok," she said.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel while the light cycled again.  Traffic had been heavy.  Wincing against the light, Rayne examined the car in front of them.  The driver looked familiar.  She was putting on makeup in the rear view mirror, or pretending to put on makeup while she checked them out.  Wasn't that the Mia girl?   Casually, looking straight ahead now, oblivious to the occupant in the other car, Jimmy asked, "What's the deal with you and that guy Nic?"

Smiling, she ran her hand down his thigh, letting it slide between his legs, and leaned back and into him. "Nic's a friend. I tried to get him to kiss me when we were about 12 years old, but he was more interested in chasing bugs around the backyard. I got mad."

Jimmy grinned, released the clutch started moving through the intersection. "It's not some bugs he wants now. Asshole about took my head off."

Somebody honked at them. Jimmy swore, breaking hard, downshifted with a lurch and took the turn to the right away from the traffic. Rayne's stomach lurched along with the car. Here she was in Toad's truck going to Toad's house and maybe she'd play in Toad's band if she could stand giving Gemma a percentage of her own pay and she knew she couldn't, or she might sit around Toad's beach waiting. Waiting for him to come back from gigs. Or trailing around after him. She couldn't focus. "I don't think he feels that way about me. You think we might be able to pick up a rental car until mine is fixed?"

He reached down, took her hand and held on while the truck bumped along the pot holes down toward the beach, and said quietly, "Sure we can, Rennie.  We got us some cash now; we're gonna be all right."

Sandy Point - 7 PM

"Hey..." His voice soft, wrapping her in voice and arms, "Rennie, you mad at me?"

"No." Rayne took his mouth, soft warmth, held onto the kiss until he was breathless. "I love you" whispered shared breath and tongue and need between them and she thought, I should let him have this tonight, I should, I want him, I want, I should...heartbeat, blood moving through her heart, the pulse of her heart, want should want should want should...

Like taking one drink, if she did, she wouldn't stop; stop the heartbeat, stop it. "You know what though."

"Uh..." An incoherent murmur, his fingers tangled in her hair, tightening, pulling..."yeah you coming to bed with me..."

She could see how it would end. She was borrowing her mother's life, trying it on, and it felt so good, at first it did, it really did. She saw it and how it would happen and how it would end. If she got out now, she could come back, maybe she could, she could try. "I know," Rayne whispered, voice shaking, hands shaking, reaching up to him, "but Toad...I'm leaving. I love you, I don't love anybody else but you, believe it, please believe it, but I can't live here with you. I have to do something else for a while. I have to go. I'll call you. I love you."

Jimmy staggered, reaching for her, eyes still blurred, mouth hot, grabbing at air, his voice a shaken gasp. "What?! What the hell Ren, what'd I do? Where you going?"

It was cooler off the porch. It was cold. It was a rip tide of cold air and it tore open the door to the rental car and swept her into it, and she didn't have any choice at all now, she had to go before she looked back and saw him drowning or she got out and drowned there with him.

Turning the car west, fumbling, grabbing the wheel with one hand, feeling blind for her cell, uncertain where he was, how to reach him, how to keep the car on the road, how to find the road lines and follow them through the dark, Rayne started calling her father.


NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 42


Qui. said...

Something told me to check google reader!

MAN!! Please don't let that be Coops baby! He and Beth have been able to come back from so much but I don't know if this will be one of those things!
I am shocked Rayne left! I hope this is a good move for her!

The traffic jam turned out great!
Wonderful chapter as always!

thewynd said...

Qui, it will be a little bit before we know who the father is but not too long.

Rayne needs to step into her own, she hasn't done that yet. Whether it turns out to be a good decision or not remains to be seen. I feel for Jimmy though because it came from left field.

Thank you!!

Van said...

My guess is that it is Cooper's--maximum drama potential there :S

I think it'll be good for Raine to be on her own for a while. I still want her to be with Jimmy, but I think she needs to learn who she is first and then they'll both be much better for it in the end.

Wow, you two having been posting chapters right, left, and center lately. Great work! :)

Christina said...

Yep, traffic jammed turned out perfect..i'm even more impressed with the toddler-swinging couple and the shots of Gemma..

speaking of Gemma..uh oh.. D: like qui said..PLEASE don't let that be Cooper's baby. there are some real webs being spun here!

wow..idk..i think i may have seen that coming (Rayne leaving Jimmy). To me, it seems like a logical decision considering the consequences her mom has faced..i'd have to say i'm proud of Rayne for looking at it from that perspective. rayne driving on the wrong side of the road? O.o
haha that is bad! she had better focus on the road instead hopelessly searching for her phone.

great writing and great shots!!<3

Valpre said...

Remarkable. From the traffic jam right to the last shot. This is too beautiful for words to describe.

Damn, damn, damn. Cooper and Gemma having a baby? She knows Coop won't take this well, if at all. I never thought I'd feel bad for her, but I do.

Rayne's finally breaking free; good for her. But Coop's the last person I thought she'd call, considering her ambivilent feelings towards him and her sneaky suspicions. I'm curious to see where this goes.

Oh, the writing was incredible.

thewynd said...

Van, all things considered the signs do point to Coop and maximum drama. Rayne does need to be on her own. She needs to figure out who she is before she can be any good to anyone else. Thanks! We know where it's going (more or less) so if we can crank them out, that's a good thing!

thewynd said...

Christina, that traffic jam had me staring at it in awe! It was amazing! I wondered if anyone would wonder if Rayne would leave. It sure shocked the heck out of Jimmy. I don't think he really understands but then I doubt that Rayne does either.

Thank you!

thewynd said...

Valpre, Coop will definitely not take this well but then he should have been thinking more rationally when he took her to bed. I'm not sure I feel bad for Gemma although she won't deserve to be ripped apart and she probably will be. As for Rayne calling her father that will make more sense in the near future.

Thank you!

Phoenix said...

I guess I'm in the minority. I kinda want it to be Coop's baby so Beth will get on with her life. Maybe take a risk like her daughter just did and live her own life for a change instead of trying to be this person for Coop! *shrug*

Loved the traffic jam!! Wonderfully done!

Poor Jimmy! Thinking he was about to get some and then BAM!! He wasn't thinking clearly and before he could she had slipped away. And her description of leaving? Oh man! I really, really felt for her but I think she did the right least for now. They bonded in a place where they should be focusing on themselves, didn't finish their treatments before skipping they just need to focus on doing what's best for them separately before they come back together!

This was amazing!!

Rachel said...


First off, the traffic jam was wonderful! It looked uncomfortable and hot and sticky. Very nice.

When it rains, it pours...Gemma's pregnancy doesn't bode well, no matter who the father is. I wonder if she'll keep it?

The first shot with Toad and Rayne on the porch at Sandy Point is hot. Whew. It would be hard to walk away from that, but I get it. She has to make something for herself without him, or she'll be just like her mother. I can definitely see that, and I think this is a positive change for her (of course, it's all in the abstract right now--let's see what she ends up doing with herself). It takes a lot of guts to break yourself out of a mold, and I hope it turns out well for both her and Toad.

Wonderful chapter (as usual)!

S.B. said...

Hey Phoenix! Whether or not it's really Coop's baby, he's going to have to admit that it might be. It will change things.

awww...poor Jimmy is right. But Rayne had to get out fast, not give him the opportunity to persuade her to stay.

Thank you!

S.B. said...

Rachel, thank you so much. I really love what Gayl did with the park and the toddler swinging there right in front of her.

If Gemma's pregnancy was from some random guy at a bar, sort of doubt she'd even hesitate about ending it. This is different.

Rayne did have to walk away. She could see she was going where her mother had gone before her, and that's not the life she wants.

Thank you so much from both of us!

J A Murphy said...

So much packed into so few words (and some amazing shots). I loved the traffic jam, I could feel the frustration, the heat and humidity. That shot of Rayne from behind, oh boy does she look like her dad!

I'm of two minds as to whether I want the baby to be Cooper's or not. If it is, maybe it will put the final nail in the coffin that is Cooper's toxic relationship with Beth. No matter how much they love each other (or think they love each other?), they don't trust each other and recently seem only out to hurt and wound. Something has to give. Unfortunately, it could also put an end to any chance he has of resurrecting a relationship with his children.

Of course if she tells Cooper she thinks it's his and it turns out it isn't, she can probably kiss her career goodbye.

No matter what, I just hope Slim is there when she breaks the news, because he seems to be the only one Cooper listens to (when he listens).

S.B. said...

Illandrya...doesn't Rayne look like her dad? From some angles the resemblance is just remarkable.

Whether or not the baby is Coop's, the possibility that it might be will change the dynamic between Cooper and Beth. She took on a lot of guilt, and let him go thinking it was mostly her fault, she had been the one who cheated, etc etc., after a night spent in tears. While he was in bed with Gemma. That won't go down well. If he had been honest when he showed up that morning, told her where he'd been and what he had done, they would probably have pulled together through this.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It means a great deal to both of us.

Muzegoddess said...

Wow. I didn't expect any of this. I think I will just die if that baby is Cooper's. That will surely be the end of him and Beth. I just hope that Gemma plays this clean and doesn't try to "make" this baby his.
And Rayne leaving Jimmy, I never thought it would happen this way or so soon, if at all. I love that she realized that she was in a way "trying on" her mother's life and she is not the girl to live that life, waiting for someone all the time. Maybe they can come back together eventually.

Everything about this was great, the scenery, the emotion in the writing, the shots and the traffic scene worked out so well. Wonderful update.

S.B. said...

Muzegoddess...THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Rayne loves Jimmy. She can't hang around and watch the relationship eventually deteriorate into loneliness and resentment and jealousy. Maybe he'll understand, maybe he won't. Inclined to think he will; he's in love too.

Whether or not the baby is Cooper's, he's going to have to play it as if it is. It's going to be a difficult conversation with Beth.

I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to read and leave us a comment. Thank you.

~Drew said...

I feel for Jimmy, having his guts kicked out onto the deck like that, while I get Rayne needs to regroup, get away, find herself, what damage has she inflicted on Jimmy? I hope he doesn't back slide over this.
emotion packed update, take a bow ladies~

S.B. said...

Drew, better now for Jimmy than let it go on and turn bad and rotten from the inside out. I think it's less about Rayne finding herself than it is about balancing the power in the relationship. She has to have something equally valuable to bring to the relationship table, and at this point she doesn't. She's completely dependent on Jimmy. She already knows herself well enough to realize that will not work. That said, she loves him and he loves her, and I doubt they'll stay apart.

Thank you so much from both of us!!!

Anonymous said...

As always, this story leaves me on the edge of my seat with anticipation. I recently finished reading your other works and they are all wonderfully done.

One question...Jimmy's eyes...are those contacts because they look similar to some I downloaded recently. ^^

Keep up the excellent work!

thewynd said...

Hi Jean! Thanks so much from both of us! We are both amazed whenever someone reads through everything like that, especially since the beginning was so rough.

As for Jimmy's eyes, they are not contacts. They are gorgeous though aren't they?

Thank you again.

Laura said...

Oh, lovely job with the road shots! It worked perfectly! Love it! The traffic jam is very metaphorical too, the desperate need to get unstuck.

I feel so sad for Rayne and Jimmy - they obviously work together, but it's just such bad timing. 19 is such a tricky age for most women, and she really needs to find herself before she knows how she fits together with a man. They have their own things to work through, and hopefully they can come back together in a better place.

And Gemma! OMG! That's all I have to say about that, lol!

Kiri said...

I'm glad Rayne left. She doesn't want to be tied to Gemma, and if she stays then she's letting her father get away with it. (Does that even make sense? LOL)

But I hope for Jimmy's sake, he can make more of the deal than Coop is willing to give, and then ditch the agent for a better one who doesn't sleep her way around her business.

I'm kind of hoping it's Coop's as well. Maybe it will shake Beth out of her guilt trip, and start facing up to life.

And maybe, just maybe Coop will start keeping his dick in his pants. I'm not going to hold my breath though. It seems that its his standard way of coping with stress. When in doubt, woo-hoo it out. LOL

Emily said...

I am slammed with another cold, stuffy head and all so I'll keep this short cause it probably won't make sense anyway! :)

Loved the shots as always, the traffic jam was inspiring, no hint of a game there, about as realistic as anything I've seen out there, really well done!

Read a few other chapters today too and have to say I loved Nic putting the Toad in his place! I wonder if he has some feelings for Rayne that would surprise her?

Kind of glad Rayne is leaving Jimmy, I think they are kind of a squicky couple but that's just me! Maybe I will change my mind, we'll see!

Great update as always, well done!

S.B. said...

Laura, thank you so much! The road shots were actually kind of fun to do, for a change.

Rayne and Jimmy work together very well, but the timing is bad, and she needs to grow up a little more.

Gemma...LOL! Yeah...

S.B. said...

Kiri: thank you so much for taking the time to read this and leave us a comment! We are absolutely delighted!

Yes it does make sense. If Rayne stays, she's collaborating with her father, and what's worse (from Rayne's POV), with Gemma.

It's going to shake Beth up either way. Just the possibility that the baby is her husband's will stun her. Cooper is a very physical and passionate man, but this will have an impact, no doubt about it.

Again, thank you!

S.B. said...

Emily! It's so good to see you again. Hope you feel better soon!

Thanks for the compliments on the shots!

Nic definitely has feelings for Rayne. She doesn't want to know about it or think about it: it would be awkward and complicated since she only thinks of him as a friend.

Thanks again!!!

Rad said...

The traffic jam was brilliant - beautifully shot and very well written. Good work, ladies!

Oh, Rayne. I love you, I'll miss you, but be free, at least for a while until you know more about what you want out of life.

And as for Gemma... not a good situation...

S.B. said...

Rad, thank you so much from both of us!

Rayne is definitely changing direction, driving somewhere else. She's got something to do before she parks the car though.

Christi said...

wonderful chapter, as always!! I really hope Gemma is not pregnant with Coop's baby, although something tells me it might be.. gah! And Rayne... I really want her to be happy for once! Just be happy!!

Great great shots... loved the waiting in traffic ones especially. Good job!! :)

S.B. said...

Christi, thank you so much from both of us!

Rayne will find her way. And Cooper will just have to deal with the consequences.

Again, thank you!!!

S@n said...

I am one of those who think it will be nice for Rayne to be alone for a little bit longer...she likes Jimmy, he likes her, they seem to complement each other really well, but she is still got things to do on her own... so walking away from him, I think is a smart move...
what is not so smart, is that she is trying to "fix" or get "mixed" with his father's life... he is a grown man, let him do whatever he pleases and let him resolve his life as best as he can...

she is worrying to much about Gemma, Cooper and Beth... she should be worrying about her own demons...

Beautiful written and beautiful gorgeous shots, they do capture the mood of the whole chapter... It is just beautiful beyond description, everything, the characters, the story line, the shots,the writing, it all works perfectly!

S.B. said...

Thank you, S@n! That traffic scene took me forever to set up and pose and shoot.

Rayne needs some time on her own. She's very young, she's struggled with addiction and fantasy-driven behavior, and although she doesn't want to lose Jimmy, she doesn't want to end up like her mother.

There's very little she can realistically do to help her father. Not sure she wants to 'help' her mother. She'll try to be there for Cooper even if there isn't much she can do.

Thank you from both of us!