Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Sessions 4 - Evanescent

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

soundtrack:  Anywhere by Evanescence


Photobucket



Photobucket
Landry walked along the beach. It was hot, hotter than it had been all season and beads of sweat collected under her hair and along her neck. Shading her eyes she tried to see the other end of the shore but the sun was too bright.
Photobucket
The sound of waves crashing against the rocks filled her head as she continued to walk. The ocean gently lapped at her legs, warm and wet until she could feel the dampness rise all the way up to her waist. A small voice in the distance called her name...was it her name? It was so soft, childlike but drowned out by the incessant pounding of the surf.
Photobucket
She walked further following the sound when she saw him, Ryan, standing there in the bright sun holding a child, their child. He was smiling, happy, and her heart swelled with love. She tried to reach them but he was so far away, too far. It was too bright, the sun, and it blinded her. The surf crashed against the rocks, thunderous, pushing her back. She needed to reach them.
Photobucket
~*~*~*~*~


Bay View: South Shore 2:00AM
Photobucket
A sudden, intense pain ripped through her and she woke with a start. "Oh no," she gasped. She was soaked, her bed sheets were soaked. Realizing her water had broken, she sat at the edge of the bed waiting for the contraction to pass, breathing through it the way she learned. Glancing at the clock, she groaned. "Only 2 A.M. These things never happen at a decent hour."
Photobucket
She paced for awhile in and out of the baby's room, staring at the ocean, the clear night sky a deep blue like the finest sapphire. Landry was scared; her mind was still clouded from her dreams.
Photobucket
Struggling to remain calm Landry went down the stairs and called Ryan. The phone rang over and over, a dull, droning sound when it occurred to her that he might not be home, or alone. As she was about to hang up and try his cell, Ryan picked up.

"Yeah," his voice was rough with sleep.

"Ryan, it's me. My water broke." Her voice faltered as another wave hit nearly blinding her.
Photobucket
He pulled himself up and out of bed alert now and questioned her. "How far apart are the contractions? How long do they last?"
Photobucket
Relieved to hear his voice she relaxed a little. "They're about 10 minutes apart and 30, maybe 45 seconds long. Ryan, it hurts. Please hurry."
Photobucket
"I'm on my way Lan. Hold tight."
Photobucket
Landry looked around quickly. Her bag was by the door and Ryan had one at his place just in case. Everything was going to be all right.
Photobucket
Ryan hung up the phone and threw on some clothes. He hesitated in the hallway and glanced at the spare room. He meant to get a crib; he'd need to do that after Landry came home.
Photobucket
Grabbing the suitcase by the door, just in case, Ryan headed to Landry's beach house.

Downtown Metro Area - St. Mary's Hospital 9:12AM
Photobucket
Pacing back and forth in between contractions Landry tried to focus through the pain. It had been nearly 6 hours and the nurse told her walking would speed up the labor. Ryan sat in a nearby chair and watched her warily. At one point she withdrew completely and he thought she was in some other world unaware of her surroundings.

"You want me to massage your back again? Get some ice chips?" He felt helpless as she gripped the counter top as another wave forcefully hit.
Photobucket
"What I wouldn't give for another hot shower! Or coffee! Ryan, did you finish the baby's room at your place? What about my mother? Did you call her? She can help the first couple of weeks." Another contraction hit and she tried to work through it, her face growing pale as she tried to put on a brave face.
Photobucket
"All right Landry let's see how far we are," the nurse who entered the room helped her up on the exam table and checked her. "I think we're ready! I'll get the doctor."
Photobucket
Landry glanced back at Ryan and smiled. "This is it Ry! You did finish the baby's room right?"

"Yes, I finished it," he lied.

The doctor walked in and stood by the bed. "Are we ready to have this baby?"
Photobucket
"Hell yeah!" she croaked as she struggled not to push.
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
Not long after Landry gave birth to a baby boy. She lay back exhausted and lightheaded but content. "Is he all in one piece?" her voice trembled as the doctor finished up. Her eyelids were leaden but she willed them to stay opened. She needed to see her son.

"Would you like to hold your son?" the nurse handed the baby to Ryan.
Photobucket
Ryan held the child overwhelmed as he stared down at the tiny life in his arms. It didn't feel the way he expected; he felt powerless for the first time in a long while. "He's perfect Landry."
Photobucket
"He needs a name Ryan. You have to choose." Landry's voice was weary but her eyes were bright as she watched them. She struggled to get up but couldn't.
Photobucket
"Riley, we'll call him Riley."
Photobucket
"Ryan..." she reached out for him but he seemed to drift further and further away. She heard the surf once more roaring in her head; the white heat of the sun blinding her until she was forced to shut her eyes. She drifted slowly into a deep sleep.

Handing the baby back to the nurse Ryan went to the bed and smiled down at her whispering, "You did good baby." He laced his fingers through hers gently and then rested her hand on the gurney.

Photobucket
Ryan let her rest as he walked to the lobby and called Landry's mother.
Photobucket
He pushed through the door and headed for the florist down the street. Ryan was outside for only a few seconds when the doctor approached calling his name. A sudden wave of apprehension overtook him. Ryan braced himself. "Is there a problem with the baby?"
Photobucket
"No, Ryan, the baby is fine." He stood there stone faced and listened to the drone of Dr. Lafferty's voice.
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
"...we did everything we could...I'm sorry..."
Photobucket

Photobucket
"...an aneurysm...we had no way of knowing...extraordinary measures..."
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket


----------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 5

22 comments:

S.B. said...

Knowing it and seeing it are very different.

Incredible writing. Heartbreaking and powerful. And your shots are beyond belief.

I'm past words.

Gayl said...

I can't even proof-read through it...thank you for keeping me from crumbling.

cheripye said...

I am in tears what a stunning update. Words were barely needed, to get the point across, and Poor Ryan now he's stuck raising a baby by himself...

Utterly haunting and such a tear jerker. 80)

S@ndy said...

:( :(
Oh my god!!! I'm in tears too...
what a heartbreaking chapter :(

greatshots....
your writing as always incredible, but I'm just speechless....

:'(

Mao said...

That was great, Gayl. I didn't see anything wrong with the shots! The symbolism and the dream-like softness were all there and very apparent. Poor Landry. Poor Ryan. It had to end someway, but this? Oh boy. Heartbreaking!

Phoenix said...

Oh man! I was expecting that at ALL!!

This was just beautiful though Gayl! Beautiful! The look on Ryan's face. He might not have been IN love with her...but he did love her in his own way.

Now it's time for Ryan to grow up. He has a baby he has to take care of.

Phoenix said...

There was supposed to be a *not* in my comment. I was not expecting that at all! *cough*

Colliegirl said...

That was so heartbreaking! Landry died??? Now the baby won't have a mommy to help take care of him. Poor little Riley...

I feel truly sorry for both father and son. Ryan looked so heartbroken over her being gone... I guess maybe he did love her in his own way. It's too bad he couldn't make the relationship work.

Beautiful work, Gayl. Loved the beach scenes. It really made me want to cry. :(

Gayl said...

Thank you all for reading and leaving comments. This was a hard chapter for me to get through so please forgive me if I am slow to respond. I am happy to see some comments about Ryan's feelings for Landry. He did love her in his own way, just not the way she loved him.

We can't always choose or understand the timing of things and losing someone who has been part of your life, a person who shares any sort of bond, leaves a great deal of "what-ifs" and unanswered questions that are hard to move past. You question so many choices you made, whether or not you could have changed the outcome if you hadn't done this or that...

goodbye-sun said...

Fantastic job with this, the shots were enough to say everything that needed to be said. You really got across what he did feel for her and that sense of regret for maybe not ever being able to give back to her what she felt for him.

veron-asher said...

Oh my gosh! That was so unexpected and absolutely heartbreaking!

I feel so deeply for Ryan, for you made the underlying guilt so clear! This situation... Oh my gosh... and your opening scene is so much more powerful after you read through it.

This was amazing. I'm in complete awe.

Lachesis said...

OMG, that is one of the most powerful pieces I've ever seen or read. I don't even know the whole background, but even I have a lump in my throat! Your use of the poses was wonderful!!

Incredible, beautiful and painful.

Gayl said...

goodbye-sun: There is a great deal of regret here on Ryan's part and grief. Most notably his inability to have done anything to stop it or to be there with her.

veron: I do think Ryan's feelings jumped out in those images. Regret, guilt, pain, loss. You go through so much when you lose someone, and he did love her, just not in the way she needed. I'm glad it came off as powerful; it pretty much did me in!

Lachesis: Yours and goodbye-sun's guide to the poses really made this easier to capture although I used minimal posing whenever I could. I think for me it was infinitely more painful once it was up there than it was while it was on paper. Ripped a hole in my heart and I knew it was coming...

Thank you all for the comments and for reading. It mean a great deal to me.

E.M Noir said...

Oh wow. I can't breathe. I didn't expect that at all. Poor Landry ... she's had to suffer so damn much and in the end ... What a heartbreaking scene. She kept alive until he named their son - that was such a touching scene. I wonder if she knew that she was going ... will Ryan raise Riley now? Will it change him? I hope he realises how much he took Landry for granted in the end.

A very poignant and touching chapter.

Emily said...

Oh Gayl, this was so heartbreaking! All the unsaid things between them...somehow I was thinking that they would resolve things through raising the baby but now, you got me tearing up watching a scene with Ryan! And I don't even like him! LOL.

That last sequence was so effective without words and you can absolutely tell the regret on his face. I am just speechless, this was incredibly emotional and very shocking, I did not see that coming.

And the beach shots...beautiful, just beautiful.

Gayl said...

Thank you both Noir and Emily! I think Ryan is going to have a hard time with his son. A man who is always in charge who found out there are some things you just can't control.

I don't think Landry knew she was dying. I think...sometimes...it just happens, you drift off somewhere and that's it. You don't see it coming.

This was a hard piece for me.

~Drew said...

The opening shots were breathless, I can honestly say I held my breath through this whole update, just gut wrenching and heartbreaking.
How Ryan will handle this will be intriguing.
Emotional, gripping...I have no other words,
Well done.

AtomicSpaceKitty said...

This was an extremely moving chapter. I got choked up even though Ryan annoys me a bit (mostly because I so want Beth and Coop to stay together and he's threatening their marriage...haha). Poor guy! I hope he can rise to the occasion and raise a child. Talk about an awesome responsibility. Especially since he only seemed partially interested in Lan's child when she was pregnant.

*sigh* I still can't believe Lan is dead. *cries*

Gayl said...

Thank you ~Drew I really struggled to get those first few shots right. Thanks to Mao, they came out the way I wanted. It was a tough chapter to do...for many reasons.

Gayl said...

Thank you ASK...it was a very emotional chapter. I think Ryan will try hard to raise his son and be a good father. As for Coop and Beth, they will weather the storm I am sure.

I can't believe she is dead either...

And wow you read it all in one shot! That really means a lot.

Jennifer said...

Oh my gosh, I just had to comment. That was so sad and unexpected! :( Very beautiful shots too. Seeing the emotion on Ryan's face was heartbreaking and that last shot is just super! :)

S.B. said...

Jennifer, for the some reason we didn't get the usual notice for a comment. Thank you so much from both of us. It was hard to write, too.

Again, thank you!