Sessions

Sessions Chapter 46 - Winter Song

2010-12-14T22:39:00.000-08:00

They say we're buried far,
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

South Beach - West Harbor Place: 5 PM

Blade was late. The date had been casually arranged, whenever he finished at the studio, but whenever had a limit and he'd passed it by half an hour. Beth wandered from store to store and restlessly picked up and discarded sweaters, dolls, cheese graters, an 'as seen on tv' thing that steamed the wrinkles out of your clothes, a purple bed-in-a-bag, finally stopping to examine a tray of silver rings. She had done her Christmas shopping. She shouldn't be looking at rings and thinking about how they'd look on Cooper.

She shouldn't be doing a lot of things. She shouldn't be hunkering down with her laptop at 2 a.m. googling Cooper to find out what he was doing and who he was seeing. She shouldn't be waiting for another man who was late.

Beth saw the woman only seconds before the woman saw her, too late to pretend she hadn't, too late to run. The woman, glancing around as if looking for another way out, hesitated. Was she considering simply walking away? Wishing she would, caught between a toothy green plant and a fountain, Beth waited. The woman did not walk away. She looked directly at her drawing a deep breath as if mustering the courage to step forward. She was, Beth saw, knowing what she would see but still reluctant to look, she was definitely pregnant. Thin and elegant and pregnant.

What do you do when you run into the woman carrying your husband's child? Speakers caroled 'Oh Holy Night' and other lovely hymns about babies and light and love and lions lying down with lambs. Forcing her mouth into a really big smile, Beth met the other woman's uneasy gaze. "Gemma Wilson? We haven't met but I know you're acquainted with my..my daughter. I'm Beth Stanfield."

The woman stroked back locks of her long black hair with a breakable hand. Her whole body looked breakable. "Hello, yes, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Rayne has said so much about you."

Both of them knew that was a lie. Beth kept smiling. Gemma passed her shopping bag from one hand to another. She looked remarkably like Julia, based on Julia's photos since Beth had never actually met Julia. Cooper had always managed to keep them from running into one another, not that he had had to try very hard since Beth had not wanted to meet Julia, and she was pretty sure Julia had felt the same way. If she had lived, eventually they would have met.

Had he fantasized he was in bed with Julia when he was screwing Gemma? Had Gemma played at being Julia when she put her tongue in Cooper's mouth? She felt warm and faintly sick.

It would be polite to mention Gemma's 'condition'. She couldn't. She couldn't scream, couldn't slap the woman, couldn't make a scene. But she could deliberately refuse to mention the pregnancy, and she could deliberately refuse to return the pleasure. "Yes, well, I'm meeting someone." And that was it, close the sentence, shut the paragraph, punctuate it and wait for her to walk away.

Mild relief washing over her face, Gemma escaped down the sidewalk toward the street, and from very close behind, right at her shoulder, Beth heard Blade approach and begin to apologize. "I'm late, sorry babe. Duff wasn't happy with a track..." His voice tapered off as he followed her gaze. She didn't move, still watching Gemma, wondering if that was baby clothes in the shopping bag, her stomach in a knot and her heart an empty dreary hole.

"Let's go over there." Blade slipped one arm around her waist and turned her firmly away from Gemma. "There's something I want to talk to you about, and I don't like these damned trees, always feels like they're going to try to eat me."

"You'd better get used to it." Emerging from the tropical rain forest, Beth leaned against the balustrade, took in a deep breath of cool salt air, swept her hair back from her face while cautiously sliding one finger under her eyes. She didn't think she was going to cry again, she hoped she wasn't, not right now. "South Beach is full of them."

He kept her close, hip pressing against hers, arm around her waist, quiet, giving her time. It was late afternoon and the sailboats were returning to the windward side of the bay, a popular, pretty, peaceful and very expensive anchorage. Blade finally turned away from the view and put an end to the silence. "I take it you're acquainted with the mommy in waiting back there?"

"I know who she is." Glaring up at him, losing some of her control, Beth snapped, "Do not make assumptions. Don't ask 'who's the father'."

"I wasn't going to ask. I told you I wouldn't say one word about him. Do you want to talk about it or do you want to drop it?"

A couple of girls strolled by and stared at them, wide eyed, obviously recognizing the frontman for Flight. The attention wasn't as overwhelming as it was when she was - when she had been - out with Coop, but it was there. Blade had signed a woman's bare back three days ago and laughed as he scrawled his name across her shoulders. It didn't matter. She didn't care. She was dropping it.

Blade flashed that charismatic grin at the girls. His charm came naturally, not entirely unlike Cooper’s and yet nowhere near the same. "We're throwing a party tonight at Rob's place to celebrate the RMA nominations, nothing elaborate, the band and a few friends. It'll run late. You could...bring an overnight bag." He waggled his brows at her, playing, making it a kind of joke except it wasn't a joke.

"Blade, I'm not staying all night - Ericca's not available and Rayne has some promo shots tomorrow morning, so she won't babysit that late either." She did not add 'and I wouldn't anyway', leaving it there, on the table, a possibility, and he smiled as he caught it, caught it silently and kept it silently.

"Speaking of Rayne," balancing on the balustrade, long legs stretched out, maybe showing off the length or maybe just sitting there as he spoke of Rayne, "it seems Duff has a bit of a crush on her. He bought a painting of her not knowing who she was and hung it up on his wall. Not like him to be that obsessed over a girl and even harder to believe he didn’t know who she was, but we're teasing him mercilessly."

Mercilessly. Beth slid in, straddling Blade's left leg, watching him watching her. She would not be spending the night. She smiled down at him as he shifted his weight and closed his legs around her.

They stopped to watch a boy playing a guitar out on the beach in the failing light, his body curved over the instrument, caressing it, passionate and oblivious. Long light brown hair fell over his face. Beth faltered, lingering, listening. "She has her admirers...she is, after all, a lot like her father."

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NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions ends with this chapter. The story continues in Studio Time. The next chapter is Studio Time One.

Authors' Notes: We had so many problems with this. People lost their hair and eyebrows and clothes. Lots crashed (this one crashed at least 8 times during the process of taking the shots) so I could not add any interesting clutter to my staggering game. The sky mod made the bridge disappear. Collection files and pose boxes didn't show up on the community lot so it had to be rezoned over and over again. Glad to be done with this set.

Sessions Chapter 45 - Itsy Bitsy Spider

2010-11-21T16:13:00.000-08:00

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again

South Beach: Brick Garden Park - 4 PM

Rafe once said if you wanted insight into the lives of the rich and famous, watch the mothers with their children at Brick Garden Park. One block off the bay and stacked with attractions to keep the kids busy, it offered enough privacy for adults to keep watch while they enjoyed more grown up distractions including a coffee shop and a discrete bar. Beth sat with a woman whom Gayl didn't recognize. They were both subdued, talking quietly while glancing over at the children in the near distance behind them.

Meeting Bonni Savage at the park, Gayl stuck it out through a chilly light rain, letting the kids run around in wet leaves, both of them sipping lattes and sheltering near the bar to avoid the wind. Camilla had dropped off Jay, breezily 'asked' them to watch him while she shopped, then blew back in and strolled up and aimed her gaze across the pond toward Beth. "Do you believe she's out here running around like that have you seen Coop because he looks terrible and I think she's had work done. Do you think she's had work done?"

With Camilla it was hard to know if she actually expected a response, not that it was possible to get a word in. The World According to Camilla - long since having learned it was pointless to debate her, Gayl bit back a caustic response in defense of her friend. Bonni folded her arms in disapproval, "If anyone could tell, I'm sure it's you."

Oblivious to the remark Cammie turned and flashed a knowing smile at her. "She went to someone good if she did because you're right, I could tell."

By this time Beth had risen and moved toward the north end of the park and up onto the bridge. Blade Ferguson had shown up; they chatted briefly, friendly and light with a brief hug and it was good to see her relaxed and smiling. The exchange had not gone past Camilla's notice either.

"If she's going to go out with Blade she ought to have something done because she is years older than he is." Cammie brushed back black hair and studied the woman on the other side of the bridge. "How old is she anyway? I know his ex the last one and her body is really tight I can't imagine why he would go after that woman. All those kids too, her body has to look like hell under those clothes."

That did it. Gayl stepped toward her. "Camilla I don't think..."

Before she finished the thought Cam turned, stopped and looked back, changing the course of her path and the conversation, Cheshire cat smile on her face as she looked at them.

"I've got to be somewhere and Jay's had enough don't you think he looks like Tony he looks so much like Tony but you have to look at Jay sideways to see it. Bye and Bonni love those shoes and yours too Gayl they are so sweet!"

Bonni and Gayl stood there momentarily stunned as Hurricane Camilla moved on leaving nothing in her wake but the sound of her boots echoing against the iron stairs.

"God..."

It took a great deal to leave Bonni speechless.

Gayl stood watching as Camilla called out to Jay, her voice carrying, turning heads in her direction, gathering attention as she catwalked down the bricks, never putting one stiletto heel wrong. There were no bricks under her feet. It was Camilla's sidewalk, Camilla's stage, Camilla's universe.

"I know. Unfortunately, sometimes I think that's who she is."

"Hi, I'm Autumn. What's your name?"

The boy had been playing with them for a while before Autumn decided to stop and find out who he was. He looked kind of shy, but he smiled and said, "Riley."

"This is my friend Hugs." Hugs hung back a little and didn't say anything because she usually didn't say anything when she met somebody new, like she was scared of them or something.

Riley smiled again and looked like he wasn't sure what to say next. When he did, he said something goofy. He said, "That's a funny name."

Shoving in where he wasn't wanted like he always did, Jay got in the middle and declared, "And you got a funny face, what's that all over your face?"

Hugs looked down at the sidewalk and sideways before she said anything. "That's rude," she said quietly, maybe to Jay or Riley or both of them but probably it was Jay. "And that's not my real name. I have a real name."

Jay glanced at Riley, looked back at Hugs, and then doubled over laughing like it was the biggest joke in the world. "Yeah, her real name is HugsandKisses!"

Now that was really rude. Garret dropped the football on the other side of the jungle gym and started up the sidewalk toward them, maybe because Jay was making so much noise. Autumn didn't expect Hugs to do anything but stand there, but this time she got right up in Jay's face and pointed at him and yelled. "No it's not!"

It was kind of cold and kind of wet and they weren't going to be able to play out here much longer. Autumn had been watching her mother talking with Garrett's mom and Jay's mom and now she was coming in their direction. She didn't see Hugs' mom right now, but she'd probably hear the noise and come over too. Jay always messed up everything. "We don't want to play with a bunch of dumb boys. We're gonna play with that girl. And he's got freckles, Jay, in case you're so stupid you don't know that."

"Hey," Garrett said to the new boy, holding out his hand and pushing Jay aside. "My name's Garrett. You wanna play ball with me? Jay drops it all the time. Don't you, Jay?"

Jay didn't even look at him. He probably didn't care if Garrett said he dropped the ball. He never cared if anyone said he did something wrong. He just kept looking at them until Autumn grabbed Hugs by the hand, still glaring at her cousin, and said, "Don't look at him. He's being a stupid turd again, don't you look at him."

She did though. Hugs was her best friend but she didn't ever listen to her. She didn't listen now. She slid her hand away and she kept looking right back at Jay. Leaves were blowing all around them now and her mom was calling and Autumn heard Jay's mom saying something in a loud voice to Hug's mother and Hug's mom was saying something back and she sounded mad, but Hugs and Jay just kept looking at each other like there was nobody else in the whole park or the whole world but just Hugs and Jay.

NEXT CHAPTER

Sessions Chapter 44 - Raise Your Glass

2010-11-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

Right right, turn off the lights,
We're gonna lose our minds tonight,
What's the deal, yo?

I love when it's all too much,
5am turn the radio up
Where's the rock and roll?

South Beach: Coast Road, Ferguson Residence - 10 AM

Blade drew breath and listened to the voice on the other end. It was late morning, the ocean was calm and the skies were clear although in South Beach you never knew when a rain shower would breeze through. He stood on the deck, shirtless, wishing he’d had another cup of coffee before calling her.

“You need to understand this, I am not interested in getting involved with you or anyone else.” Beth’s tone was clipped and decisive, undercut by what sounded like water. Maybe she was outside.

Blade could sense that he may have pushed a little too much. Never one to give up on a challenge, and he was sure the prize was worth it, he switched directions. Backing off only a bit he kept his tone light. “Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you? I'm not asking you out on a date; it's business.”

She paused and Blade waited, imagined her thinking on the other end, not trusting himself to push further until she said something. He didn’t wait long.

“Blade, stop it please. This is not a good time for me, I'm really not into the games. It's not business. You know it and I know it. If you want to ask me out, do it, but no games.”

Satisfied that he had made it through at least one barrier, Blade smiled and gazed beyond the bridge, wondered if she was doing the same. He could hear the surf crashing through the phone. He’d won this round but he still had an uphill climb to win her trust - and her heart. In his most assuring voice, Blade answered. “No games...just dinner and some distraction. I can't do card tricks for you, but I promise I'll be entertaining.”

They’d settled on the time; he would pick her up in an hour. Moving toward the end of the deck Blade sighed and stared at the breakers. He had been serious about not playing games with Beth. He wanted her, knew her worth, at least he convinced himself of that last part. She was a woman of surprises and considerable strength. No doubt he had barely scratched the surface. Taking one last long gaze Blade inhaled and began formulating his plan to win her over.

South Beach - First Break: 11:00 AM

South Beach - Seaglass Corner: 12:00 PM

South Beach - Blue Moon Marina: 6 PM

Millwood - Parrot Pier: 10 PM

It had been a pleasant afternoon. They stood beside each other in the cool evening, comfortable and silent, listening to the ferries in the distance and the occasional gull. The salty air was crisp and damp, laced with the aroma of fish, both from the ocean and the seafood shacks that lined the beach down the road from where they stood. Beth glanced at him and broke the silence, “You've been married four times?”

Blade glanced down, reflected on those marriages and what he had hoped to gain from each one. Grinning sheepishly he confirmed it. “Yeah, four, kind of embarrassing to admit it. I haven't sworn off marriage yet; maybe that's excessive optimism, but I still want it, if I can find the right person.”

Beth turned to face him, her arm resting on the railing and a look of amusement in her eyes. “How old are you, twenty eight or nine? Thirty? Four is ridiculous. Maybe you ought to figure out why you keep driving the car into the ditch before you get back behind the wheel.”

His smile grew wide at the remark. Absently flicking a loose stand of hair from her cheek he challenged her. “Are you offering a refresher course in driver's ed?”

“You wouldn't want one from me. No doubt...NO doubt you've seen those photos of me in Probe.” Beth laughed and then turned away, gazing out at the darkness once more.

Blade moved closer, looking at her quietly, admitting, "I saw them; I've heard about the guy. You didn't go back to him when you split with Cooper, or is that still going on?”

Moving further down the pier Beth folded her arms, turned and shaking her head, answered, “No, it's over, it's been over for a long time. It was a terrible mistake, the one mistake I regret most, the one thing I would take back if I could.”

Taking several long, easy strides Blade stood before her. He searched her face, wondered what went on in her head, looking for an opening that could draw her closer to him, to earn her trust. “From where I'm standing, you look pretty damned human; you're allowed to make mistakes.” He paused, thought about it, thinking about what he knew about the man, what he'd done, what he'd done himself, looked away before fixing his eyes on her again. ”Coop was on the road all the time, doing what we do...it's a problem that ends a lot of marriages. My hands aren't clean either.”

“Don't try to excuse what I did. There isn't any excuse. It's not a math problem: you don't get to cancel it out....” Beth stopped, changed course, kept him off balance. ”You don't have any children? Out of all those marriages, no children?”

Blade moved with the grace of a cat, a very large, feral cat. Turning to gaze out at the surf and the lights lining the road back to the city, he answered, ”I grew up bouncing around from one place to another, and I hated it. It's no life for a kid. Children who grow up in this business, ninety percent of the time they're messed up. I'm not doing that to any child of mine.”

Blade looking back at Beth, realized how that sounded, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to include your kids in that group. I can be pretty damned insensitive, one of the reasons I'm single again.” He shook his head and lifted corners of his mouth in a wry smile.

“It's all right. It's been hard on all of them.”

“You stuck with him and all his shit for a hell of a long time though.”

Beth turned and the ease with which they had been talking seemed to lessen. “Let me make this perfectly clear, I do not want to hear anything negative about Cooper. No trash talk. No revelations. Nothing.”

Surprised, Blade attempted to turn things back around. He raised his arms in surrender and threw his best smile at her. “Absolutely. The man's a saint. Not a word otherwise. I never saw anything, I'll never say anything.”

Beth laughed and shoved him playfully, “You're an ass, Blade.”

Happy that he’d managed to move past her irritation he allowed his smile to widen as he reached for her. “I know, but I'm an interesting ass. Come on....aren't I?”

Beth smiled and moved just out of arm’s reach. “As long as you know you wear the ears, and that they're the most interesting thing about you, ok, I'll give you that much. I should go...it's getting too late..."

Moving slowly, carefully toward her, knowing he might be pushing too far but needing to take it further, Blade’s eyes narrowed slightly, “Too late for what, Beth? He's not there. I'll take you home if that's what you want, but you can make your own decisions now.”

He moved closer, lowered his gaze to her lush and inviting mouth, eyes darkened to an intense blue. Knowing the risk he was taking but unable to stop himself Blade leaned down, brushing her cheek with his lips, pulling her up against his body, slowly, waiting for her, letting her move first and maybe she did or maybe he imagined she did, but he found her mouth with his, and, finally, kissed her.

____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 45

Sessions Chapter 43 - The Blower's Daughter

2010-11-11T20:13:00.000-08:00

And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my mind off of you

Beth opened the front door and welcomed the embrace Cooper offered. He held on tight breathing deeply, trying not to let the anguish he felt bleed through his arms. He was going to hurt her, he knew it, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. That moment had come and gone the morning he came home and kept his mouth shut while she held out her pain and guilt in open hands.

Reluctantly, Cooper released his hold running his hands along her arms. "Where are the kids?"

Before Beth could answer a peal of laughter rang out as Harmony bounded down the stairs. "Daddy! You came!" Running up to her father she threw out her arms as Cooper scooped her up and planted a kiss on her forehead. Behind her walking more slowly down the stairs were Nate and Eric.

Cooper rose looking directly at the twins, "Your grandmother is waiting for you in the car." Before they could respond Cooper glanced down at Hugs, "I think she said something about pancakes at the diner." As Harmony raced to the car Cooper shifted his gaze back to the boys, "Don't keep her waiting, go." Exchanging glances with their mother neither twin spoke as they left the house.

Beth folded her arms as she tilted her head slightly, watching his mother drive off, obviously confused. "Hugs has been waiting all morning to see you. Is everything all right with Rayne? Is that why you sent the kids off with Cass?"

"Rayne is fine, as well as can be expected I guess. She wanted to move out on her own; I said I'd help her. Baby, that's not why I'm here, can we go somewhere to talk?"

They walked down to the beach, a place that seemed to connect them to each other. Settling into the warm sand Cooper drew Beth down toward him until she sat facing the ocean as he slid his arms around her. "I love you baby." His words were little more than a sigh as he leaned into her. "I never meant to hurt you. I don't know how you manage to forgive me every time I fuck up but you do. It's a lot to ask and I don't deserve it but I'm asking - I need you to forgive me again."

Beth stood and Cooper rose with her. Wary, uneasy, she took a light breath and looked away out at the beach before facing him. "Coop I told you, it was my fault, I cheated. Nothing you have ever done compares with that, and whatever you do now, we're separated. You don't need to share it with me. I don't want you to.”

Cooper shut his eyes. He'd let her believe that lie and allowed her to bear the brunt of his mistakes. He had to tell her the truth, a truth that might end his marriage for good, not a choice he wanted but one that he created without anyone else's help. It wasn't Ryan or any of the women that fucked it up, not this time.

He wanted to reach out to her so he could hold her to him when she tried to pull away and leave him but his arms were like lead weights. His heart raced and his throat went dry. He was going to lose her, please don't let me lose her. “This isn't about anything that happened since I moved out. Beth, that night after I saw you with Ryan, there was something I didn't tell you. I went to Chameleon and talked to Melinda, that part is true, I was there but not all night." He drew a breath; this was it, the final cutting words. "I went to Millwood, to Gemma Wilson's place. I slept with her."

Beth took a little half step back, stumbling in the sand, walking carefully, slowly, a few steps up the stairs away from the beach. “Who,” she started, stopped, began again, “Gemma Wilson..she's that woman who looks like Julia...she's Julia's cousin. What are you saying, that you've been seeing Julia's cousin?”

"No, God no! I was angry at her, at you, at Ryan. I never intended to fuck her it just happened! I thought I'd lost you and I wasn't thinking straight. Shit Beth I wasn't thinking at all." Coop rubbed his forehead before continuing. "She came to see me last night at the hotel to tell me she's pregnant. She thinks it's mine but baby she's going to have to prove it before I'll believe it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that night. I'm asking you to forgive me, please."

A long moment passed. Her silence hung between them, and for the first time since he had known her, Cooper could not read her. If she'd shouted at him, hit him, something, he could deal with that but not her silence. "Beth...I know you're probably upset..."

"Upset?” She started slow, her voice picking up speed, breath after breath, finding octane, coming right at him hurtling at him.

“I’m ‘upset’," she said, biting it off. "Coop, I am 'upset' when Nate and Eric break curfew. Upset. You let me hang out there, the bad one, the one who cheated, and you used it, you used it. You left me there to cry my eyes out scared and worried and wondering where you were and if Ryan had really hurt you and all the while you were rolling around in bed with Julia’s cousin? And she's pregnant? With your child? And you didn't feel even the slightest bit strange when I broke it off because I thought we would never get past Ryan, and you were standing there fresh off her bed...and I am UPSET? I don't even know you. Who are you?!"

"Beth, I know I'm not a perfect man, but you have to believe me when I tell you it didn't mean anything. I should have come clean but I thought we could put everything behind us and start again. I still want that." Cooper reached out to her but she pulled away anger and horror written all over her face. And worse, disappointment.

"Don't touch me! I've blamed myself all this time, overlooked your behavior because I didn't have the right to say anything and you think this is about believing you? I don’t care if it didn’t mean anything! That is not the point! Your betrayal is not the fact that you fucked some girl; it's that you let me carry the blame so you wouldn't have to face yours."

She stood there cool, tightly controlled, and quiet. Cooper held his breath and waited. "You need to go," she said without looking back at him. "Now. Before the kids get back. You have to go. I don't want to see you again." Without another word Beth moved toward the house her head held high but even then Cooper could see her trembling.

"I'm not going to let go. Beth, listen to me, I need you, we need each other. We know each other...I am not letting go!" Cooper thought she might have said something but if she did, her words were lost, carried away, carried away by the wind and the tide and each and every long quiet step she took away from him, each and every single and irrevocable footstep going away.

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NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 44

Sessions Chapter 42 - Yesterday

2010-10-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Oceanside - The Palms: 7:49 PM

By the time Gemma tracked Cooper down at the Palms she was prickly, hot, and irritable. They stonewalled her at Hitman. Cooper wasn't there and the girl in reception had refused her repeated inquiries as to his whereabouts. It had taken time and several phone calls before she tracked him down at the Palms. Hailing a cab, she made it to the hotel as the sun was beginning to set. Flirting with the bellhop at the front desk scored her the correct room number. Stifling a wave of nausea, maybe it was just her nerves and not the hormones, Gemma firmly knocked on the door and braced herself having no idea what she was going to say.

Coop had just showered and pulled on a shirt when he heard the knock. There was no way Rayne could have made it that quickly from Sandy Point. Moving toward the door he pulled it open and found the last person he wanted to see.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"May I come in please?"

"No, you can't. I thought I made it clear I didn't want to see you again."

Gemma pushed past him. "Yes, crystal clear but what I have to say is best handled where we can't be overheard."

Fully aware that Rayne would be there soon Coop eyed Gemma suspiciously and left the door propped open. "You've got three minutes and then I'm tossing you into the hall."

She stood arms folded and glared back at him coldly. "Fine. Have it your way then. I'm pregnant."

Cooper froze and then kicked the door shut with his boot. Shaken, his guts twisted in knots, he couldn't flat out deny it was his; he'd taken her unprotected more than once that night, but he'd be damned if he was going to take responsibility on her word alone. Highly doubtful that he'd been the only one she'd screwed during that time, he didn't even know if she was making it up. She wouldn't be the first woman to claim he was the father of some kid.

He moved toward her, menacing, threatening, white hot anger searing through him, and growled, "I don't believe you. From the second I laid eyes on you I knew you were trouble. Why are you even telling me this - what makes you believe it's even mine? You got what you wanted. That kid - if there even is one - if you think you're going to hold that over my head - I'll destroy you."

Gemma stepped back until her thighs hit the table. Reaching back she braced herself and in as calm a voice as she could manage replied, "You know perfectly well why I think it's yours. I don't want anything from you...I thought you should know."

"Damn you, that's bull shit! You're going to stand there and tell me you haven't been with anyone else? You don't want anything? Don't fuck with me Gemma! I'll rip you to shreds! I don't want anything to do with you or any kid of yours!"

Her face went white and he could see fear and anger in her expression but Gemma held her ground. "You think I wanted a baby, that I orchestrated this? You're insane! I never invited you to my bed! I wanted a fucking contract! If it gets out that it's yours, it could ruin me!"

Cooper glared at her, anger roiling inside him. His voice was grim, cold, unfeeling and flat. "Get rid of it."

Gemma drew a breath - Coop wondered if she'd even begin to breathe again. He wished that she wouldn't. "I...I can't."

"You can't?? You mean you won't!" Clenching his fists, how the hell could he have been so damned stupid, Cooper threatened, "I want nothing to do with this. You breathe one word, you come near me or anyone in my family, you give anyone the slightest idea that this kid might be mine and there won't be a corner in this world where you can escape what I will do to you. I swear Gemma I will kill you. Now get out!"

~~~~~

Yanking her hair up, struggling with windblown tangles, Rayne found a clip in her purse, took it in her teeth and forced her hair into it. The valet parking guy was staring at her. It was a rental, let him stare, let him tow it, she didn't care.

She started inside, stopped, nervous and tired and briefly reviewed what she wanted to say. Hi Dad, sorry about bitching you out, I need money. Why had she thought this was a good idea? She didn't even have a place to stay tonight if he turned her down or ordered her back into rehab. There was Randi...but Toad's comment about Nic bothered her...she didn't want to push that, it would be really strange and awkward.

Uneasy, she went out into the courtyard, standing there in the spray between the fountain and the heavy heaving pounding surf and tried to remember the room number. Was it 102? She could call him again. She didn't want to call him again. He might change his mind.

A door opened, slammed shut, and there at the end of hall was Gemma Wilson. Walking right out of Room 102 with attitude and not bothering to even see if anybody else saw her.

One long sashay through the hotel past the luggage and the chairs and the damned bellboy, all that black hair swinging and red shoes tapping on the tile just as if it made absolutely no difference in the world if somebody knew she'd come out of Cooper Stanfield's hotel room.

Rayne watched her until Gemma caught a taxi. She followed her back outside and watched until the taxi disappeared going east, not the way to South Beach, so the bitch was going home to Millwood. It was hard to move, hard to breathe; that whore, she knew it she KNEW it and there it was. Got some new great contract deal going on, Gemma? Need to stop by his hotel room to use his big pen again?

She fought it, digging her nails into her palms, trying to focus on why she was here, she couldn't take her on, not now; if she did, she lost any chance of getting what she'd come here for. Walk. Go. Be sweet, be very very sweet, and wait your turn at her because it will come, it's coming.

~~~~~

Cooper slammed the door behind Gemma and paced the length of the room, distracted, shaken, desperately trying to think of some way, any way he could manage this. As much as he would like to believe the gossip and rumors wouldn't reach his family, he knew they would.

The phone rang. He jumped, startled, hesitated for a couple of seconds, uncertain he would even talk coherently, then picked it up and answered cautiously, "Yeah?"

It was Beth. Coop listened, blank, as she told him she'd just finished up with Blade, adding dryly, 'what a piece of work', then asked if he was coming over. Hugs was expecting him. She sounded happy and hopeful and calm; she sounded like she wanted him.

"I can't," he began and almost choked on the words. "Rayne, uh Rayne called, said she wanted to talk. Tomorrow, I'll be there as soon as I can tomorrow. I'm sorry."

There was a pause, then she said, "That's fine. If Rayne wants to talk to you, that's more important. Cooper, are you all right?"

He could not possibly respond to that. Gripping the phone, he came up with some lame reassurance, lying, hearing the disappointment in her voice. Damn it, if he'd been able to get there tonight, maybe he could have convinced her to let him stay; Blade obviously hadn't made any headway. He needed time to think, time to come up with some way to explain...Gemma if that was real, he had to explain....he couldn't do it tonight. Fucking idiot, you screwed up before but this time you've really torn it all apart.

Another knock on the door; he pulled himself together, quickly buttoned his shirt, and there stood Rayne, glaring at him. "This is a surprise," Cooper managed to say, "a good surprise. Come on in."

She marched in and strode to the door leading to the balcony and stood there, her posture tight and stiff, not even facing him as she said, "I decided I want to set up on my own for a while. I don't have any money and I was wondering if you'd help me out."

He kicked absently at the foot of the bed with the toe of his boot, completely unable to focus. If his daughter needed money, he'd give her money, it was the least he could do now. "Sure sweetheart, whatever you need, it's yours."

Rayne crossed the room, circling close to the bed, examining it as if searching for something before she stopped uncomfortably close and stared up at him.

It was a long challenging look, very direct, and he began to wonder why. "Really...well thanks. Dad, you know who I saw just now? I saw Gemma Wilson, coming out of your room. Is that why you gave Jimmy that contract, because you're sleeping with that woman?" Cooper realized, a sickening realization, why she had been studying the bed.

Stunned, his heart hammering in his chest, Cooper folded his arms, struggling hard to retain some composure. "I am definitely not going out with Gemma Wilson. She stopped by because she had something she thought was urgent...she was mistaken. Rayne, I love your mother; I always have and that has not changed."

She sat down on the end of the bed and, in a quieter voice, countered, "Maybe you think this is none of my business, but I was going to join Jimmy's band, and I can't do that if you're involved with his agent. This is about more than just you and Mom. I know all about Ryan, and I wouldn't blame you if you split when that happened, but none of this makes any sense. What is going on with Gemma?"

Something about the way she was sitting there watching him reminded him of the little girl she'd been, stubbornly demanding a toy or a trip to the beach, relentless but endearing. "Rainie...it's complicated...this business, people crawl out of the woodwork wanting things, pulling at you, latching on for the ride. Your mother and Ryan...I...was angry about that...didn't understand...Gemma...thought Julia was her ticket in the door. Shit baby I'm no saint, I'm not perfect...it doesn't mean anything..." What the hell was he saying, Cooper exhaled and shifted his eyes toward Rayne.

He could see her confusion, emotion playing across her face, turning, changing, suspicion replaced with a slow, dawning, unsettling fury. Cooper took a step back and began, "It's not what you think - "

Before he could finish, Rayne slid off the bed, reached out for her father, and wrapped him in a long shuddering and completely unexpected hug. "You don't know what I think," she whispered fiercely. He leaned down and held onto her tight, his rough, weary voice against her hair, "Raindrop..."

--------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 26

Sessions Chapter 41 - Thank You

2010-10-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

Sandy Point - 11:30 AM

"Almost home," Jimmy remarked, glancing sideways at her as they stopped for the light near the Sandy Point bridge. Rayne had slept through most of the trip. The glass felt hot against her cheek, sunlight at its worst. She fought with the hand crank and rolled down the window. Her head ached.

"Ok," she said.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel while the light cycled again. Traffic had been heavy. Wincing against the light, Rayne examined the car in front of them. The driver looked familiar. She was putting on makeup in the rear view mirror, or pretending to put on makeup while she checked them out. Wasn't that the Mia girl? Casually, looking straight ahead now, oblivious to the occupant in the other car, Jimmy asked, "What's the deal with you and that guy Nic?"

Smiling, she ran her hand down his thigh, letting it slide between his legs, and leaned back and into him. "Nic's a friend. I tried to get him to kiss me when we were about 12 years old, but he was more interested in chasing bugs around the backyard. I got mad."

Jimmy grinned, released the clutch started moving through the intersection. "It's not some bugs he wants now. Asshole about took my head off."

Somebody honked at them. Jimmy swore, breaking hard, downshifted with a lurch and took the turn to the right away from the traffic. Rayne's stomach lurched along with the car. Here she was in Toad's truck going to Toad's house and maybe she'd play in Toad's band if she could stand giving Gemma a percentage of her own pay and she knew she couldn't, or she might sit around Toad's beach waiting. Waiting for him to come back from gigs. Or trailing around after him. She couldn't focus. "I don't think he feels that way about me. You think we might be able to pick up a rental car until mine is fixed?"

He reached down, took her hand and held on while the truck bumped along the pot holes down toward the beach, and said quietly, "Sure we can, Rennie. We got us some cash now; we're gonna be all right."

South Beach Metro - 2 PM

Stunned, Gemma waited in the corridor as the door behind her swung slowly shut. The doctor had confirmed what she already knew - she was pregnant. Dr. Nelson had given her all the standard warnings about the risks, how there was a 1% chance of conceiving while using the pill. She had been careful, as far as she could recall she had routinely taken it before bed. Maybe she had missed one or two but she always remembered to take it the next day didn't she? Resisting the urge to lean against the door and collapse she moved toward the stairwell exit.

Once outside Gemma spotted a bench and sat down. Fate must be reveling in her misery, she thought, as a couple walked past her swinging their toddler, another small child chattering happily behind her. A baby was not in her plans, had never been in her plans. She wasn't marriage-minded and she definitely wasn't maternal.

She always insisted her partners use condoms; admittedly there had been times she had thrown caution to the wind but those men were known to her, she had felt safe. This time though, it had not been her choice. He hadn't given her a choice.

This was bad, this was very, very bad.

"Shit."

Shutting her eyes, Gemma drew several steadying breaths. She couldn't know for sure who the father was since she had not been exclusive, protection sometimes did fail, but the most likely candidate was the one who would least accept it; he would want irrefutable proof.

Gemma stood and glanced down the street. She was in the vicinity. He wouldn't welcome the sight of her let alone grant her an audience. She would have to make him listen; she didn't like this anymore than he would. He'll have to suck it up and hear me out, that's all. With purpose, she exhaled, turned, and began the slow walk toward Hitman and Cooper Stanfield.

Sandy Point - 7 PM

"Hey..." His voice soft, wrapping her in voice and arms, "Rennie, you mad at me?"

"No." Rayne took his mouth, soft warmth, held onto the kiss until he was breathless. "I love you" whispered shared breath and tongue and need between them and she thought, I should let him have this tonight, I should, I want him, I want, I should...heartbeat, blood moving through her heart, the pulse of her heart, want should want should want should...

Like taking one drink, if she did, she wouldn't stop; stop the heartbeat, stop it. "You know what though."

"Uh..." An incoherent murmur, his fingers tangled in her hair, tightening, pulling..."yeah you coming to bed with me..."

She could see how it would end. She was borrowing her mother's life, trying it on, and it felt so good, at first it did, it really did. She saw it and how it would happen and how it would end. If she got out now, she could come back, maybe she could, she could try. "I know," Rayne whispered, voice shaking, hands shaking, reaching up to him, "but Toad...I'm leaving. I love you, I don't love anybody else but you, believe it, please believe it, but I can't live here with you. I have to do something else for a while. I have to go. I'll call you. I love you."

Jimmy staggered, reaching for her, eyes still blurred, mouth hot, grabbing at air, his voice a shaken gasp. "What?! What the hell Ren, what'd I do? Where you going?"

It was cooler off the porch. It was cold. It was a rip tide of cold air and it tore open the door to the rental car and swept her into it, and she didn't have any choice at all now, she had to go before she looked back and saw him drowning or she got out and drowned there with him.

Turning the car west, fumbling, grabbing the wheel with one hand, feeling blind for her cell, uncertain where he was, how to reach him, how to keep the car on the road, how to find the road lines and follow them through the dark, Rayne started calling her father.

-----------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 42

Sessions Chapter 40 - If I Never See Your Face Again

2010-10-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

‘Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your face again
I don't mind

South Beach - West Coast Road, Ferguson Residence: 11 AM

Blade threw another bag of trash out the back, missing the pool by inches: a good thing since he hadn't found anything resembling a pool skimmer. Slamming through the door back into what passed for a living room, he glanced around it again. Nothing much more he could do to make it presentable and he was out of time and pissed off thinking about what he'd paid Tyler Romero for this place.

And there was Rob. Still there. "I thought you left."

"Not yet." Rob slid a hand around the the stack of boxes, made a face and said, "We're up for an RMA award."

Glancing at the clock, he had less than 15 minutes before she arrived, if she did. RMA. Not now. Rounding on Rob, he drew a breath, tried to deal with him, he'd never been able to 'deal' with Rob. "I know. More than one. Look man, I'm expecting company, you want to get out of here?"

"No," Rob said, sifting through the mail. Rob the thief. Rob the thief who had kept the band afloat but didn't seem to know when to stop getting into every damned thing. "I want to know why you think taking down Cooper's wife gets us anywhere."

He didn't feel like explaining anything, irritated and impatient, shot out, "Why the hell do you think it's any of your business?"

Rob shrugged, wandered around the room and stared out at the bay. "Every time you decide you want to get married again, you fucking go offline. Six months of bullshit, you don't work, you do nothing. Not this time, Alex. Not now."

That wasn't the way it had gone down. Maybe the first one had been trouble, maybe the second, not the third and hell no not the last bitch. "I'm not marrying the woman...she's still married to Stanfield."

Sprawling out on the couch, Rob cooly retorted, "And she should stay married to him. I'm not going anywhere. I want to meet this paragon...think I have met her and she's not all that damned hot. Have you seen his daughter? Strike that...she's available. Do not see his daughter."

Blade glared at him, looked around for something to throw at him, didn't find anything, settled for yelling, "Chase that yourself asshole. Come on, get out of here."

The doorbell rang. Even the doorbell didn't work. A strangled ring, skipping a ring, another half ring. How the hell had Tyler lived in this place? Nothing worked.

Rob smiled, shifted on the couch. "And that would be Lady Stanfield. Ding dong the bell tolls for you...hurry up, she might run away."

The front door stuck. Grabbing it, yanking it, maybe it would break this time god no not with her standing there watching him trying to open his own damned door, Blade leaned hard into it, forcing it open. Beth Stanfield stood there, not looking at him, looking at the cracked driveway or the leaky windows or the dying plants, finally looking at him, she said, kind and careful and amused and wearing something that wasn't anything near kind or careful, "Hi Blade...may I come in?"

Behind him, he heard Rob shove something, Rob walking up, Rob standing right behind him breathing down his damned neck. Beth smiled. Rob muttered, "We're screwed."

________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 41

Sessions Chapter 39 - Wherever You Will Go

2010-10-04T06:42:00.000-07:00

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

University - 56 Mason Loop, Taylor rental: 10 AM

Nic quickly checked Rayne's car before heading across the thick grass. Mud oozed up with each step until he reached the walkway and taking the steps in two long strides knocked on the door before entering.

"Is Rayne up yet?" Shaking mud off his shoes, Nic headed into the kitchen and helped himself to what was left of the coffee. "I took a look at her car; she hit something pretty hard. It's going to need work before she can drive it."

"She's taking a shower." Randi quit cleaning the counter, hesitated, then carefully told him, "She called that guy she's living with; he's on his way here."

Disappointed, he had anticipated having that hour with her, looked forward to it, Nic muttered, "I could have given her a ride."

His sister smiled, shaking her head sympathetically. "She knows that, but he is her boyfriend, Nicky, and something's bothering her. She probably needs to talk to him."

Nic glanced up the stairs where he could hear water running. Following his gaze, Randi remarked, "She takes the world's longest showers.   If you want to hang around until she's done, it's going to be a while."

"May as well explain the problem with the car when her ride shows up." He put the coffee down, the taste bitter and strong, it had probably been sitting there for hours, and wandered restlessly around his sister's little dining room. "What do you know about that guy?"

"Will you sit down or something? You're making me itch." Randi leaned against the archway, watching her brother. "All I know is that he's in a band. I saw him perform once; he's really good but he's kind of messed up. I mean, Rainie met him in rehab."

Nic sat down, shifted uneasily, gazing at the scuffed toes of his boots. "That's not good for her. You didn't let her get into your liquor last night, did you?"

"No, Nicky, I did not, but she didn't ask. She's knows better than to try that with me. Come on, cut it out; you're not her father."

A car pulled up outside, something with a rough and uneven motor that continued to rattle ominously after the driver cut off the engine.   Nic got up, moving past his sister toward the door while she paused, letting him go with an exasperated sigh. "Yeah," Nic muttered, "but I'm her friend. I'll get the door."

He yanked the door open and stared at the man waiting on the other side. Tall and thin, long blond hair and wearing an overwhelming odor of cigarette smoke, the man stared back at him. He looked, Nic thought with satisfaction, very surprised to see him.

"Uh, maybe I got the wrong place," Jimmy said cautiously. "Is this here 56 Mason Loop?"

"Yeah," Nic said, and waited.

Jimmy peered around him, saw Randi, ran a hand through his hair and asked, "Is Rayne Stanfield here? I got a call...I'm picking her up..."

Randi shoved her brother aside and told him, "She's here. I'm Randi Taylor, this is my brother Nic. Come on in - Rayne's still getting dressed but you can wait inside."

He sauntered in, casting a long and somewhat dark glance at Nic, as Randi offered coffee. Nic thought about the almost undrinkable overcooked mess he'd tried to drink, hoped the man would accept it, but he shook his head and drawled, "Jimmy Breaux...no thanks, already had me too much coffee. How long you think Rennie's gonna be?"

"Rainie," Nic emphasized her name, "likes to take long showers." He avoided looking at his sister who, he knew, was throwing him a look of warning.

Randi started to lead the way up the stairs to the living room. "You can watch TV upstairs while you wait, and you're probably going to have to wait for about half an hour."

Jimmy looked at Nic, who looked back at him and showed teeth in a long cold smile and stood there, making it obvious he wasn't going anywhere. "After you," he said.

Folding his arms, Jimmy met that glare, glanced at Randi, then asked, "You got somewhere I can have a smoke? Not much on watching tv shows."

Randi turned and looked down, smiled, and said to her brother, "Nic, why don't you take him outside? I'll see if I can get Rayne to hurry up."

Nic moved past him toward the back door, deliberately brushing against the other man's shoulder as he passed him. Not much on tv shows...not much on books either judging from the way he talked. What in hell did Rayne see in this loser? She wouldn't crush on some jerk just because he could play a damned guitar, not Rayne.

Jimmy lit a cigarette, inhaled hard, gazed around the patio and looked up at the house while Nic yanked out one of the chairs, turned it around and settled down, crossing his arms over the back of the chair, watching him smoke.   "Rayne did some serious front end damage to her car last night," he began, deciding he should at least attempt to say something; as long as he didn't use big words, maybe this idiot would understand. "She's going to need a tow truck."

"We can handle that," Jimmy tossed back at him, lingering on the word 'we'. "So you're what, her friend's brother? Hang around, fix her car, shit like that?"

Nic flashed another smile at him, it was almost too easy. "I don't fix her car. Is that what you do, fix her car? Damn...and you find time to do that while she's out? Impressive, I mean, I'm impressed, that's dedication."

Striding closer, Jimmy gazed down at him, blew a long cloud of smoke in his general direction, and grinned. "I got me plenty of time to fix whatever she needs fixing. Guess you got that right though, she don't need you to fix nothing for her."

A blast of anger shook him. Nic swung off the chair, glared up at the taller man. "I've known Rayne a long time, and I watch her back. She knows I'm here for her. You watch your fucking step; you do one thing that hurts her and I'm all over you, get it?"

The back door swung open and Rayne stepped out onto the narrow porch, her long hair blow dried and shining, earrings glinting against her skin.   "Hi Toad," she said kind of absently, sweeping both of them with a quiet, enigmatic gaze. "I'm ready to go."

Jimmy tossed the cigarette onto the ground, ground it into the grass with the heel of a dirty sneaker, glanced at Nic, then walked up to her and put his arms around her. "Bout time, sweetheart. You trash your car?"

"Maybe." Rayne held on for a second, then pulled free, walked down the steps, looked into Nic's face, and abruptly hugged him. "Bye," she whispered. "I'll see you later, Nicky. Thank you."

___________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 40

Bios for Nic and Randi. And, although we've posted it before, Jimmy. And ok...this

and more...because there's no better way to do it

Sessions Chapter 38 - Mockingbird

2010-09-28T05:54:00.000-07:00

Here we stand
Somewhere in between this moment and the end
Will we bend?
Or will we open up and take this whole thing in?

South Beach - Stanfield Residence: between 6 and 8 AM

Cooper awakened disoriented and exhausted. Dealing with Nate's arrogance, Eric's quiet defiance the previous night he'd struggled not to lose his failing patience. Harmony's wide eyed trepidation at the chaos along with the raging storm had prevented him from sleeping and it hadn't helped that the opposite side of the bed had been empty, a situation he intended to rectify soon. Enforcing his parental authority that morning, and that had been a lot harder than he expected, insisting the twins come directly home from school and scrambling to find Ericca to watch Hugs, Cooper headed downtown to meet with Beth.

Oceanside 9 AM

Preoccupied, ambling down the sidewalk with a strong cup of coffee he thought about how to approach her. Beth had been furious at him last night and it had set him on his heels. Frowning, he considered how he would make it right when he walked head on into a guy who had just rounded the corner. Losing his grip on the cup it tumbled from his hand splashing its contents on the concrete between them.

"Shit! Sorry about that man." Coop looked up, studied the guy for a few minutes before recognition set in. Rob Porter, backup guitarist for Flight. What was he doing here?

"It's all good man, no worries." Brushing a spot of liquid off his jeans he added, "I'd love to catch up but I've got a 'thing' and I'm running a little late." Gesturing with a nod of his head, Rob turned and headed toward the strip. He stopped, shot a final enigmatic glance back at Cooper, speculative, before he walked away.

Oceanside - The Palms Hotel: 10 AM

Finally making it to The Palms he went up to the room, found it vacant and ended up checking at the front desk, relieved to hear she was in the dining room and not simply gone. Entering the restaurant he saw Beth sitting at a table talking to someone, laughing; maybe a waiter said something amusing. Coop moved toward her, smiling and confident until, stopping abruptly at the table, he glared at the cause of her laughter.

Alex Ferguson. Blade. It didn't take much to figure out Blade's motives. Coop had seen him openly admiring Beth on more than one occasion. He'd let it go at the time, Coop couldn't blame him for appreciating his wife, until now. Cooper folded his arms and struggled to keep his face devoid of expression.

"Hello Coop, it's been awhile." Blade barely glanced up, his eyes riveted on Beth.

"Alex." Cooper never called him by his nickname. It bothered Alex and Coop knew it. While they weren't exactly enemies, they weren't friends. Rival was a more accurate assessment and Alex had just upped the ante. "Aren't you a little out of your domain?"

Blade rose from his seat. He stood nearly as tall as Cooper. "We were just working out details for Beth to check out the place I bought out by the beach. It could use her expertise in decorating."

"Is that right?" Coop folded his arms and held Blade's gaze. The corners of Coop's mouth turned slightly upward but the smile never reached his eyes. Did this arrogant prick actually think he was going to worm his way into Beth's bed? Whatever game he thought he was playing Cooper would effectively end it. Stepping closer to him, Coop asked, "What gave you the impression that she had the time or inclination?"

Blade held his position and returned the smile. "Actually your ex did. We met up last night out on Coast Road. I rescued her and that little car you've got her driving from the brink of disaster. We worked out the details over dinner and drinks."

What the hell...he had dinner with Beth...and she hadn't mentioned it? Coop's eyes narrowed as he reined in his anger. "She's not my ex, Alex, she's my wife, although I know how hard it is for you not to confuse the two. What is it, three or four divorces under your belt?"

Blade laughed and turned toward Beth who had been watching the scene with amusement. Taking her hand, lightly squeezing it, he took his leave. "Last night was a singular pleasure, Beth. I'll see you soon."

Straightening, he slid those blue eyes on Coop, began to walk past him and in a smooth, low voice taunted, "You better watch it Coop, your crown is beginning to tarnish."

"Game on." Coop muttered before he turned back to Beth who met his gaze with obvious challenge. Holding his breath long enough to pull back an angry expletive he demanded, "You want to tell me what that was about?"

She stood up, putting one hand on the table to steady herself, never dropping her gaze, but Cooper saw her hand shaking. "Why do you think I'm here? I drove through a hurricane to meet you. I left my children alone in that storm to meet you. It's not enough. You want to know what it's about? It's about nothing; it's about the same thing it's always about. I'm tired, Coop. I'm going home."

-----------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 39

Sessions Chapter 37 - Lady So Divine

2010-09-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

On a highway, just today
That's where I saw you
It was music from a distance

"Recalculating..."

Blade punched off the GPS and sat in his car and looked at the restaurant. It wasn't what he expected. Iron Gate, he'd thought that might be something private, some private club he'd have to crash, but it was just an Italian place on the bay with some kind of gate in the middle. She was here, that was the same car he'd shoved out of the mud, and he didn't see any other cars. Didn't anticipate he would...Cooper wasn't here.

Good thing that place he'd bought was close by; once Rafe dropped him off, he hadn't even bothered to go inside. Take the chance. Blade had come in a close second to Coop more times than he cared to think about, even three of his ex-wives would have jumped at Stanfield if he'd been inclined. Blade couldn't help the slow grin as he calculated how long it might take to return the favor. It wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth a hell of a lot of time and effort to finally stick it to Cooper.

Striding quickly out of the rain into the foyer, looked around for someone, anyone, didn't see anybody but a woman scurrying somewhere. The place was deserted. He turned and waited and tried to think where she would be when he heard her voice. Raised and angry. "Fine. I'll stay at the Palms while you stay there. That's just perfect Coop. I am soaking wet...yes I can probably buy something there...ok...make sure Hugs has that bunny to sleep with."

Beth hung up, slammed the phone down. He took a few steps toward her and waited until she turned and saw him, the look of surprise on her face. Breathing hard, raindrops shining on the swell of her breasts, she stared at him and demanded, "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't run off the road again. Come on, Cooper's not here. Let me help you get somewhere safe." Blade slid into a relaxed smile and waited.

"I got this far, I think I can make it a few more miles all by myself. If you want to tag along, it's up to you. You'll probably be stuck there for the night - they're closing the road to South Beach."

Blade's luck could not have been better but he tried to hide his elation. "I couldn't stand by and let you fend for yourself. Besides, you still haven't eaten. I'd consider it a privilege to buy you dinner after you're settled and dried off. We can discuss your fee for decorating my new place."

Beth glanced out toward the street, then looked back at him and said nothing, stretching it out until he began to feel the silence before she finally, with a dry edge to her voice, replied, "I never agreed to do any design job for you and you know it. Is there any particular reason you think you'd like anything I might do for you?"

Blade eased her toward the door, stifling amusement...was there anything she could do...they weren't talking about wallpaper now were they? He didn't know one damned decorator from another but doubted it made a difference. She knew he didn't know. Playing along, he responded, "I've seen your work; you did my second wife's loft awhile back. Very impressive." He stopped, carefully took her arm and turned her toward him, "I told you I might stay awhile, settle here, it's looking better and better as a matter of fact. At least give me the opportunity to convince you...over dinner."

Lightning struck a transformer across the street, an explosion of sparks and fire spreading through the air and the water. He caught his breath and took a quick, protective step closer to her. She startled, hesitated, watching the lightning flash, then in a quiet, shaken voice, told him, "If you can drive around that, you've got a deal."

Uneasy, Blade tried to recall the way to the Palms; it was a few miles north, uphill, on higher ground, away from exploding transformers and falling power lines...not that he knew where power lines were falling or exploding. "I can do that," he assured her, and then, because it was automatic, because driving through a storm like this wasn't something he'd done before and he wasn't all that goddamned certain he could do it, no way to back out now, he took a deep breath and murmured to himself, "Take it out of warp drive, put it into impulse, go for it..."

She abruptly and unexpectedly laughed, surprising him, putting him off balance, forcing him to look down at her again, to see her. Stepping away from him, removing his hand from her arm, she shook her head and, still laughing, said, "Well make it so then, Captain Blade, but you keep your hands on those controls, not on me."

--------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 38

Sessions Chapter 36 - Some Voices

2010-09-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

It's like a hurricane inside her
It's like a hurricane inside her room
It's like a hurricane inside her mind

University - Stanfield Rental: 5 PM

Rayne pulled up hard in front of Wyatt's rental and sat there in the car while the rain slid down the windshield and the engine ticked and cooled. Someone had already moved into the place across the street, windows lighted against the late afternoon wet chilly gloom threw that yellow light into the puddles in the drive where her car used to be. It had been her place. It wasn't now. She didn't have a place now. The long drive had drained some of her anger and she waited and watched the place where her brother lived and morosely considered how he was likely to react when she marched up to the door and announced that Gemma was the boogey man after all because Cooper gave Toad a contract. Cautiously condescending. Kind. Maybe he'd ask her if she'd been drinking, as if there was any doubt he'd ask that.

The front door opened. Jason and his girlfriend Kes dashed out into the rain, hanging onto each other and laughing as they cut through the carport. Those two were probably going to get engaged. How would Kestral manage all the shit that would come hurtling her way once Crux started to tour? Maybe she'd just go cook something. Maybe she wouldn't care. No, she'd care. Kes would care. Cade would care. As cool as her mother played it, she cared. And everybody got hurt because of women like Gemma Wilson.

She slammed the car door and hurried up the sidewalk to the front door and banged on it until Wyatt finally cracked it open. It was almost 5 o'clock but he looked sleepy and rumpled. And surprised. "Rainie? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

"We need to talk," peering past him, half expecting to see Gemma herself stretched out on the couch but the room was shadowy and empty and quiet. "Is Gemma here?"

Wyatt rubbed his face, staring at her, confused, and shook his head. "No, nobody's here, sorry I just woke up. You want to come in? What's going on?"

University - Academy Park: 5:30 pm

"Kind of strange weather," Wyatt remarked as he walked beside his sister through brush and trees, everything heavy and dripping. Rayne had insisted they get out of his house and talk in the damned park, so he had yanked on some clothes and here they were, in the park. He was wet and chilled and wanted some coffee and had begun to wake up sufficiently to realize this was really weird. "Uh, Rainie, this is far enough. What the hell's going on?"

She found a bench, sat down on it. He considered sitting next to her but damn, it was wet, so he crossed his arms and tried to shrug off the rain and waited, wondering if she was drunk or using. "Dad brought over a contract for Jimmy's band," she said, looking up at him through wet hair. "I pushed him as hard as I could about Gemma and he pushed back, he wouldn't agree to even consider offering a contract if she wasn't part of it. Wy, you know what he thinks about Jimmy, you know what's going on. You know he'd never give Jimmy a contract if he wasn't doing it for a woman."

Agitated and breathing hard, Rayne clenched her hands and looked down at the muddy trail. His first reaction was oh shit...maybe she was seriously unstable, or maybe she was going to cry. He drew a deep breath, sat down next to her on the wet bench and put his arm around her. Wyatt spoke in what he hoped was a calm and reassuring voice. "Rainie, if Dad gave him a contract, that's a good thing, isn't it? And Gemma's his agent, so she's going to get a piece of it. You know how these things go. Jimmy's got talent, maybe Dad thought about it and changed his mind." Wyatt considered what his father had been going through with the family. It was possible he was offering an olive branch, some way to begin mending fences. Wyatt frowned as he considered what Rayne believed.

Rayne slid out from under his arm and got up and stared at him, and now he wondered why he ever thought she was going to fall apart. Once she got something stuck in her head she wouldn't see past it. Rayne shoved her hands through her wet hair and glared at him. "What is wrong with you? Why don't you ever see what's right in front of you? You know what, I don't care anymore. Tell Gemma to change her sheets before you climb into bed with her, Wyatt. You are definitely sharing that bed with Cooper. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

Rayne turned her back on him abruptly and began to march steadily through the rain soaked leaves. His temper flared. "How the hell do you get from a contract to Gemma's sheets? You're being ridiculous Rayne! Just listen to what you're saying! How do you make sense out of this shit you come up with? Dad and Gemma...that's not happening! Rayne, damn it, wait!"

Oceanside - Palms Hotel: 7 PM

Intense rain hammered relentlessly against the window of Cooper's hotel. The slapping sound reminded him of a car wash beating a steady rhythm as it sprayed against the glass. He paced, his attempts at remaining calm slowly unraveling with each step. Cooper stared out the window; he'd realized in this kind of weather there was no way he could attempt to make it to Bay View on his bike so he'd ordered a car - it was late and so was he.

Swallowing his irritation he tried the lobby again. "This is Cooper Stanfield. Has my car arrived?" Pounding the toe of his boot against the carpet he listened as the desk clerk told him the same story once more, the storm had caused delays, traffic lights were out, they'd ring him as soon as the car got there, and did he want them to call the restaurant again. Angry, Coop barked at the receptionist that he'd make the call himself and slammed down the phone.

Increasingly frustrated and restless, he could feel anxiety gripping him. Coop had to get out of this hotel. Although the suite was ample in size, he felt caged in, chained where he did not want to be, in a prison of his own making. He needed to go home, needed his wife, his children and that realization hit him as forcefully as the storm that insistently battered the window. Why did he always fuck things up?

Swearing, he'd tried Beth's cell again. It was going straight to voice mail. Maybe the storm was scrambling the cell service or a tower went down. With this kind of weather anything was possible but he didn't want to consider the alternatives, wouldn't let the dark unease fill his head. Shoving down any doubts about Beth changing her mind and not showing up, Coop hesitated and then called the house. If she had already left - Coop was uneasy about the idea that the twins could get her a message - or even would.

"Hello?" A soft voice, a child's tentative voice answered.

His stomach clenched at the sound. "Hi baby it's Daddy, is Mommy still at home?"

"Mommy left cause she said she was going to find you and you know what Daddy, she took the car she says bad words about. And Daddy, NatenEric been fighting and Nate says there's a hole in the sky and it's gonna suck us up an' Eric hit him and made his nose all bleeding and he burned up all the popcorn but not on purpose. Daddy when are you coming home? I want you to come home. Why won't you come home? I miss you."

Cooper's heart splintered. "Soon baby, Daddy's going to come home soon."

From behind him lightning exploded followed by the deep roar of thunder, a sound Cooper was entirely sure may have come from within him. His kids were alone; he'd left them that way on the worst possible night. Trying to sound reassuring he asked Hugs to put Nate on the phone.

"Did you and Eric block your mother's cell again? And don't lie to me Nate. I've been trying to call her and she isn't picking up. In this storm I know she would answer." When his son assured him they couldn't block her cell even if they wanted to, Cooper demanded he have Eric call her.

When that call failed, Cooper's unease grew a thousand fold. Something was wrong and he could feel it in his bones. Cooper hesitated, stifled an expletive and then added, "Tell Hugs I'm on my way. Keep trying your mother and anyone else who might have seen her. I'll be there as quick as I can."

University - Miranda Taylor's Rental 7:15 PM

Pushing past his sister Nic hurried into the kitchen. Setting down the bag he rattled off its contents quickly while he pulled the jacket he wore, now drenched, off him. "There are extra candles in the bag just in case and I brought batteries but I never thought to ask if you had a flash light."

Tilting her head toward the counter where her flash light rested Randi replied, "I probably should have got an extra one but its fine. I talked to Will a little while ago. He said he was going to help get his parents to higher ground and I just got off the phone with Mom. She is seriously freaking out Nicky."

"I know. I just got off the phone with Dad on my way over here. His plane just landed and he is trying to get across the bay bridge before they shut it down like they did the ferries." Knowing his father Nic figured that he'd swim if that's what it took to get his mom and sister to drier land and out of danger. The surf was bad, crashing against the beach behind their house, rapidly threatening to flood the place. What couldn't be brought in or nailed down had quickly become flotsam.

Seeing the look on Randi's face he reassured her, "We'll be fine here; the worst of it will probably be the power going out. And don't worry about Mom. You know Dad will take care of her. This storm wouldn't stand a chance against him." Nic took a breath, smiled and then asked, "I should probably get back. You going to be okay here by yourself?"

Randi folded her arms and raised her chin in haughty response. As if he even had to ask, no storm was going to scare her. "I can take care of myself, don't worry."

As Nic was about to answer, they both heard pounding at the front door. He followed her as she went to answer it, hanging back as she braced herself from the wind that blew in. "Rainie! Get in here; you're soaked, are you all right? God you're freezing cold!" Randi tried to pull Rayne into the entry as she fussed over her while Rayne's eyes leveled on Nic standing in the archway.

Shivering, eying the two of them, maybe wondering or knowing that Randi had something strong she could drink Rayne pulled her attention back to her friend.

Rayne's voice, rough silk, managed to stop the barrage of concern pouring from Randi, "Can I stay the night?"

South Beach - Coast Road 7:30 PM

The first kick landed squarely on the door. Beth almost slipped and fell down the hill into the bay with the second kick. She'd hydroplaned, run off the pavement and dug herself even deeper trying to get back on the road. And she'd dropped her cell. It was lying somewhere down there in the rocks and the heavy surf, and if she didn't rein in her temper, she'd be down there with it.

Half a dozen cars sloshed by. Nobody would stop in this storm. She could walk. She could walk in high heels for over a mile and hope she didn't get hit by someone else who had driven too fast. Or she could sit here.

Trying to come up with something else, something that didn't involve walking, a car finally pulled up and stopped behind her, wipers batting furiously at the water, powerful engine shutting down. And against all hope and expectation, Rafe slammed the door, stepped out into mud, swore and yelled. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

She should have known. Defensive, prickly and wet, she tossed it back at him. "I'm meeting Cooper. I ran off the road. And I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm on my way home, and that's what you should be doing. You left your kids there alone in this storm?"

The passenger door opened and a tall man wearing a long leather coat eased out, hunching against the onslaught of rain and wind. Rafe conferred with him briefly and then together they stared at the car stuck in the ditch. He glanced at her, straightened, gave her an obvious thorough second look and grinned. "Beth Stanfield..."

Irritated and even more defensive, she bit back a retort; she didn't have to explain herself to Rafe. The other man...at first she didn't recognize him, and, when she finally realized who he was, it wasn't some wonderful happy moment. Superstar frontman for the band Flight: Alex Ferguson AKA Blade. Another arrogant musician. "Hi, Blade."

"My car didn't show; Rafe's giving me a ride," he offered as if he expected her to be overcome with astonishment and concern, and he was still smiling. Bright blue eyes, thick brown hair and a sprinkle of freckles that didn't quite jibe with the name Blade; the freckles reminded her of Ryan. What was it with these bad ass men and freckles?

"How nice for you," she tossed in his general direction and turned her agitated attention back to Rafe. "Rafe, I have to make it to The Iron Gate and I'm really late. Can you get me out of the ditch?"

"Yeah. Alex, give me a hand over here."

"I hear you and Coop split up. His loss..."

Was he, inconceivably, trying to chat her up in the middle of a storm while she was on her way to meet Cooper? Beth stared at him, literally speechless. "Cut the shit," Rafe ordered him, annoyed, "We've got a fucking car to move, you going to help me?"

'Blade' finally put his shoulder to the rear fender, and together they rocked the car until it moved forward out of the mud and back onto pavement. She watched, waiting for him to slip and fall face first in the mud, but he grinned at her and put as much muscle into it as Rafe, well almost as much.

Rafe slapped his hands on his muddy jeans, muttered another expletive, and turned back to her. "Turn this piece of crap around and go home. Your kids need you more than Stanfield does; he's probably not going to make it in this weather anyway."

Taking a couple of careful steps toward her, Blade said quietly, "If you need anything, give me a call. I've got a place right up the road, I bought it last week, I'll be there the rest of the month, maybe longer."

"Jesus man, drop it," Rafe growled, " she doesn't need anything you've got."

He shoved into his car, started the engine, and together they sliced through and vanished behind the wall of pounding water. She was wet and cold. Lightning hissed and struck, but if she hadn't been bitten by that electric snake yet, either it couldn't find her or no longer cared.

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NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 37

Author's Note: Bio for Blade provided here..

Sessions Chapter 35 - If Looks Could Kill

2010-08-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sandy Point - The Rusty Pelican

Slim watched the two of them, Gemma sitting at the table arms folded, slender legs crossed, and her body language screaming. She toyed nervously at the long strands of her jet black hair while Coop sat at the opposite side glaring, arms casually folded and legs stretched out. He steadily tapped the toe of his heavy boot against the chair leg, aggravated and on edge.

Focusing on her, Slim got into it. "I'm going to cut to the chase. We aren't giving you a blank check. Name your terms. What's the price for you to keep your mouth shut?"

Gemma turned her eyes on Cooper. Her mouth was tight and her words clipped. "You raped me."

Cooper laughed, a long mirthless denial. "That's bullshit! You were right there with me!"

"You walked into my house uninvited, ripped my clothes, carried me upstairs and threw me down. Are you going to tell me it happened some other way? You were brutal. That's rape!"

"I didn't hear one word of complaint from you. No one will believe I took you by force. Not that first time, not the second..."

"You bastard!"

"That's enough!" Slim shifted his eyes back on her after throwing a look of warning at Cooper. "You go to the cops? File a complaint? You're here so tell me what you want?"

Smug, Gemma replied, "I want a contract for Brew...for Jimmy. Long term."

Rising from the table, Coop snorted derisively and walked away. "No way. We aren't buying that trouble."

"Coop, sit down." Trying to bring things back to business Slim played his hand. "You know Jimmy's a risk. I don't care what you've got on Coop, if..." pausing for dramatic effect, "...if we consider it there will be stipulations in the contract. And this will not be an open ticket. One contract with Hitman. That's all it will take for you to market your...talent."

"I have as much to lose here as Cooper does. There will always be doubts about how I got a contract as a green agent. I want it long term...and I want him to admit he raped me so there is no question in this room what went down. And I want to see it...the contract."

Slim leaned in resting his large hands on the table in front of her and growled, "I don't give a damn what you want or what you have to lose. Shut up, sit there and listen to me. Nobody's admitting anything. We draw up a contract for Jimmy Breaux, but it's our terms. He blows it, that's it. You get whatever the hell you think you're getting out of this, and you shut the hell up and go away.

"Coop doesn't want you near his kids. You leave them alone. You don't say a thing about what went down between the two of you, you stay away from his wife, you stay away from the media. And lady, if you think you're coming back and asking for more, you don't know me. I'll ruin your ass. You know I can do it. Now get out of here."

Gemma finally stood. "Threaten me all you want. He forced himself on me, you know he did; I can see it in your face that you're wondering. As for his kids...Wyatt is Julia's son. If he wants to see me I am not going to discourage it and you will not stop me." Turning, head held arrogantly in the air, she left them.

After a long moment Slim drew a deep breath and exhaled. "Coop...man this is bad. Keeping it from Beth, you're going to have a hell of a time pulling that off, and the woman is out for blood. Anything to her claim you raped her?"

Pacing, shoving the chair aside, every move on edge, his voice hard, Cooper came back at him. "No, come on Slim, you know I didn't rape her. I wasn't gentle but I didn't rape the bitch. Can we knock this contract out? I want to get it over there, get the damned thing signed, and go meet Beth; I can’t fuck that up. And Slim, thanks."

Sandy Point, 10 Big Tree Road: 4 PM

~Rayne~

"A year." Jimmy read slowly, working his way through the 20 pages of small type, slowly slowly reading it. He read so slowly. Rayne bit her lip and kept quiet while he read and read and used his finger to keep his place while he read. Glancing up across the table at Cooper, he asked dryly, "How many clauses you throwing at me? Am I gonna need to get a hall pass to hit the john?"

Cooper sat there in the dim rainy afternoon light, his face cold, shadowed. "Show up and do your job. You get one chance. One."

They'd had less than an hour to react to the phone call from her father: he was bringing over a contract. Nothing more than that. No explanation. No conversation. Jimmy looked wary and stunned. Cooper looked exhausted. They didn't say much to each other even across the table. Without asking, Rayne pulled the contract across the table, taking it from Jimmy, flipping through it, then looking up at her father. Jimmy knew she was going to do this, they'd had enough time to cover that much even if she hadn't told him what she was looking for. "Gemma Wilson gets a percentage."

Jimmy sat in the chair facing the window. It was the chair with the short leg, and he was struggling with it, rocking back, leaning forward, nervous, smoking. She'd surprised him with that question; he slid his eyes toward her, then stared silently down the length of his cigarette, letting her take it and go with it. For now anyway.

Cooper shoved his hair back, a quick and irritable gesture. For someone bringing such a gift, he didn't seem happy about it. "She's his agent, Rayne. He signed a contact."

Of course he had. Tightening her hands around the rough bottom of the chair, wondering how far she could push this, Rayne asked, "What if he fires her? Would you resubmit the offer?"

Cooper hesitated. The room was full of silence and the steady drip drip of water leaking through the hole in the gutter outside the window. He turned to Jimmy. "You can anticipate legal problems if you try that."

"There's a waiting period," Rayne pressed, annoyed and alarmed. Cooper kept hammering at Jimmy, pushing on the weak link, avoiding her. This contract wasn't about Jimmy. It was about Gemma. The room felt cold; she needed a sweater, she needed a coat, she needed a fire. She needed an answer. She turned sideways on the chair and raised her voice. "After that expires, would you resubmit the offer? It's a simple question, Dad."

"I'm here now. I'm not guaranteeing another offer in three months." He shot a narrow eyed look over the table at Jimmy, who was still rocking back in his chair and still silent. "It's your decision," he pointed out, "not Rayne's. It's your chance. Take it or leave it and do it now."

She had her answer, and she was surprised how much it hurt. She got up, pushed the chair out of her way, pushing it hard banging it against the table, announcing, "Excuse me, I need some air. It stinks in here."

~Jimmy~

Jimmy let her go. Screen door slapping shut, she was standing out there in the rain, leaving him to sit here with Cooper. Cooper watched her go out there but he didn't get up or say a damned thing. Rennie probably got it right about him and Gemma. He rocked back on the chair, unnerved, lit another smoke, he didn't want to lose this chance, insult the man, make a wrong move, going out to talk to Ren might be a wrong move. What was worse? Losing the contract or losing his girl? He stood up, dropped the butt in the ashtray, hands shaking, refusing to make that choice, he said, "Gimme a minute."

Standing on the far side of the front porch, staring out at wet trees and wet boats, Rayne didn't move when Jimmy came up, planted himself between Rayne and the kitchen window, and asked quietly, "You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

She kicked the wet rail and leaned on it harder and didn't look at him. "You're her present. He can't stand you. There's only one reason he'd do this, and it's for her. Don't do it, Toad. Don't start out like this."

The kitchen window was open. Whatever they said, Cooper could hear it. Jimmy leaned over the porch rail next to her and whispered, "Rennie, sweetheart, that's the way it works. Me, I don't give a damn if I'm hanging on a chain around her neck, his present, it's still a contract. You don't get Cooper Stanfield driving up and giving you a contract, nobody gets that. If I got to use his girl on the side to get us a start, I'm doing it. You gonna work with me?"

Rayne, all wet and angry, looked past him through the kitchen window at her father, and pushed him aside and stood stuck between him and his arm across the steps down since he didn't want her to go what the fuck was this about? Making him give it up for some piece of ass Cooper took down? You get one shot, one big chance, you can't don't choke on it. Didn't make sense, no sense at all, he tried to think of something to say when she hit him again.

"Work with you to do what? Use my father's whore to get what you want? You may as well fuck her yourself. I grew up with this, I know all about how it works. You want it, take it, but it's going to come back at you, Toad, and it pisses me off. I have to go, I can't be here right now, I need to get out of here."

He heard the back door squeak open. Rayne hurried down the steps toward her car. Through that open window, he saw that contract fluttering on the table. He went in, walked past it, walked past his Fender, walked out the back where Cooper was leaning against a porch column that might fall any damned minute now. The whole place was falling down. Never was gonna be another chance like this, not like this. Cooper didn't say a thing. "I'll sign it," Jimmy told him. "Gimme a pen and I'll sign it."

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NEXT CHAPTER: Chameleon Chapter 9

Sessions Chapter 34 - Secrets

2010-08-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Sandy Point - Ed's Pier 7 PM

Rayne set her Fender next to stage along with Toad's. The lights sputtered and flashed and went dark and came back again, and Jimmy's attempts at some kind of sound check sputtered and flashed and went dark right along with the lighting. "Shit amps." Jimmy walked around looking at them, kicking cables aside. It was a stage crammed into one end of a pier set up for beach party music. Vince hadn't showed. Adrian was sulking. Jimmy was livid, deep into every freaking detail and finding fault with everything.

She sat on the edge of stage, swinging her foot against the paneling, finding rotten spots, her high heel sinking into them, watching Woody saunter up. "I brought Mia," Woody said, grinning as if he'd remembered to bring the beer to a party when everybody else forgot.

Mia was a short blonde girl, all chest and no legs, and she was wearing pink sunglasses that kind of matched her pink top and her pink flip flops. The pink top had an umbrella and fish design, a big fish hiding under a pink umbrella. It was night. Nobody else was wearing sunglasses. She swung the sunglasses toward Rayne and announced in a matter of fact voice, "I'm Brew's manager."

Oh yeah right, she was a manager. Rayne glanced at Jimmy. He jumped off the stage, pissed, ignoring the manager girl, glaring at Woody. "Where the hell is Vince?"

"I don't know man, haven't seen him."

"I help set up gigs," Mia huffed, sounding defensive even though nobody had said anything to her, or maybe that's why, because nobody had said anything to her. "And I write a column for the Sandy Point Independent. It's a paper."

"It's a circular with letters to the editor about potholes," Woody laughed. "And a couple of columns. Mia does one called BarCrawlers - you should read her last one, what was it? Oh yeah, Have Fun in a Field."

"It wasn't about cows," she snapped, still looking uncomfortable and still looking at Rayne and still hiding behind the sunglasses. "Sandy Point has a summer music festival, and there's some pretty good bands. And they pay them, on time, with checks that don't bounce. Jimmy knows that. We've known each other a long time, Jimmy and me."

Now that was interesting. Was Mia an ex? Maybe she hadn't realized she was an ex until very, very recently, as in right now recently. Rayne didn't understand why Woody was poking at her, which struck her as sort of mean, unless it was his version of flirting. She didn't know what to say, so she aimed a deliberate stare at Pink Sunglasses and kept her mouth shut. Fun in a field, yeah...I'll bet you're fun in a field.

"Long enough to know I ain't interested in your damned paper right now," Jimmy growled. Turning on Woody, he demanded, "You come with me, we got to find Vince. Mia you want to do something useful, you go find Adrian and get his ass up here."

He hesitated, leaned over, gave Rayne a quick kiss, whispered, "She's nobody sweetheart; you wait up here for me."

She had no intention of waiting anyplace else. The person she'd been expecting was striding toward her, barely avoiding bumping into Jimmy who was pushing past him. The two of them stopped short. Jimmy shot a quick look at him, a brief mutual acknowledgment, then dragged Woody along past the lanterns toward the road, Pink Sunglasses scurrying along behind...keep scurrying....

"Hey Wyatt, you found the place." She gave her brother a quick hug. "Come on over here, those guys are going to run over anything and anybody in their way."

He laughed before turning careful attention back to her. "Are you okay Rainie? Do you need anything?"

Was she okay? That was a hard question to respond to. Rayne sat down at a table near the stage and thought about money and watched the lanterns bob in the wind blowing onshore. Cheap pieces of paper shredded and torn, about the same as everything in Jimmy's house. She eyed her brother then shook her head. "I need absolutely everything but I'm getting used to recycled coffee. Look Wy, I didn't ask you to come out here because I want money from you. I want to know what you heard about Mom and Dad breaking up."

Wyatt sat back, looked out at the surf, and finally said, "I doubt I know anything you don't know. Dad called me and said it's temporary, they're working things out, and to blow off the rumors. That's about it."

Somewhere behind her, Rayne heard Toad yelling at somebody. She waited, waiting until the echo of his angry voice moved in the other direction. This conversation wasn't something she intended to share with Jimmy. Leaning forward across the salt scoured table, she pressed her brother, "What kind of rumors?"

Slightly surprised, Wyatt insisted, "You know what they say about him: one hundred proof lies. Come on, they've held on through a lot of shit including that asshole McDermott; if he says he wants to work it out, he'll try to work it out."

Her brother was right about that; they'd held on long past the point most couples would have given up which made the whole separation even stranger. "Ok listen Wy, Ryan was like years ago. Something big must have happened for them to split up like this. Dad's moved out. If they were working things out he would still be there. Something's different and if Dad is worried about rumors..." Rayne watched him expectantly.

Confused, Wyatt asked, "What's your point?"

"My point -" Something thudded behind her, she jumped, took a deep breath and started again. "My point," she repeated, "is that they've been through a lot of shit and didn't break up until now. My point is, what's different? Gemma Wilson, that's what. You know as well as I do that she looks like your mother. Gemma arrives, starts 'working' with Dad, and bang, they split up."

Wyatt sat back, staring at her, and then laughed out loud. "No way! She's not interested in Dad."

This time Rayne clearly heard Jimmy approach. She glanced up at him; he looked frustrated, cigarette flaring, guess they hadn't solved the missing Vince problem. She knew what he was going to ask and she didn't know the set but in this place, who would care? "Give me a sec, Toad, just a couple more seconds."

Jimmy backed off, crouched on the end of the stage and waited, making it clear that he was definitely waiting and wasn’t going to wait much longer.

"You're delusional," Wyatt told her finally. Arms crossed, his voice, so like their father's, tight and hard now. "They're all after Dad. Every single woman in the world is after him. That's bullshit, Rainie. You're buying into a myth."

Rayne stood up, trying to pull this together, why would Wyatt be so certain Gemma wasn't interested in Cooper? Because he thought she was interested in someone else. Why would he think that? The lanterns swung, weather picking up, throwing wind and water over the pier and casting yellow and red and shadows across his face. He would think it, she realized, uneasy, because he'd seen it. Wyatt was into Gemma, or Gemma was into Wyatt…that’s what he meant, and it would topple her brother right into the same sick place she’d been with Ryan.

She didn't want to follow this, she didn't have time now and even if she had, she didn't want to. "I have to go, but Wyatt, I'll bet you I'm right about Gemma. Something will happen, I don't know what, but it will, and you'll know I'm right."

He shook his head, shifting his feet, then stood firm although his voice held a touch of doubt. "No, not this time."

Jimmy eased up off the stage; she'd run out of seconds. Discouraged, anxious, Rayne grabbed Wyatt and held on tight, staring intently in his eyes as she warned, "Be careful, Wy. Please. Promise you'll be careful."

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NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 35

Sessions Chapter 33 - Drag the Sunrise Down

2010-08-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

There's no light, and there's no sound,
Bet you wanna drag the sunrise down
You tell me it feels like you're running in circles
And all the time they keep raising the hurdles
Out of sight, and under ground
You're dreaming you're gonna drag the sunrise down

"He's outside." Melinda shut the door and looked at her warily. It had been a long drive from South Beach, raining all the way, and Beth had that dinner date tonight looming. She hadn't slept. She was nervous. She was irritable. She was scared. She was going somewhere she should not go to open something she should keep closed. And the door was open and it was too late to run away.

"Thank you," Beth said, trying to sound rational and calm. She hadn't considered Melinda and Ryan. Maybe Melinda and Ryan were together now. She didn't know. She didn't know anything about Ryan now. But she'd called her, she'd asked if Melinda would set it up, and she had, so here she was, and she was going to go through with it, making apologies, spreading them out there. "I appreciate this. I just want to talk to him, I shouldn't be more than a few minutes, I won't get in your way, whatever you're doing here."

Melinda looked at her for a long, uncomfortable moment before replying. "You're not in my way, and he's expecting you."

That had not come out the way she meant it. Whatever you're doing here, why had she said that? Embarrassed, wondering how she was supposed to talk to this woman, wondering how many times she'd done Coop, what she'd seen him do, off balance, Beth mumbled something apologetic and inane and gratefully escaped in the direction Melinda kindly pointed, down a hall she barely noticed in her haste to get away. The last thing she wanted right now, apart from what she intended to do, was to face the truth about Cooper and Melinda's whores all doing the deal together with maybe Melinda in the middle of it.

She pushed open the door, pushing it too hard, and walked out fast onto a low deck facing a rocky shore and heavy surf. Ryan stood about 10 feet away, his back to a pine twisted by the wind, his arms folded across his chest, watching her. She crossed the distance through rough wet sand, heels sinking into the sand, walking and walking toward him.

"Beth," he said, taking her name, giving it back to her. "Are you all right?"

The wind whipped her hair across her mouth. Beth swept it back from her face, more uncertain now than ever about her motives, stepped into the lee Ryan himself created. "You almost killed my husband. I'm definitely not all right."

He raised one eyebrow, snorted in derision. "He'll hurt for a couple of days, but I didn't come close to killing him and you know it. Come on, Beth, you're not here to complain about his damned headache."

No she wasn't. "Is there someplace we can sit?"

Ryan jerked his head toward a pile of boulders. "You've got a choice: a wet rock or a wet chair. I recommend the chair."

The rock might be the better choice. Lawn chairs carried memories, Ryan landing hard in the sand when a deck chair collapsed under his weight, laughing, blaming her for sabotaging the chair, abandoning the chair, both of them sitting on the beach watching thunderheads sail across the horizon into the sunset, a long time ago. She followed him toward the chairs. Ryan picked up one of them, shook it free of sand, set it back down, and said, "Have a seat."

He pulled the other chair around to face her, eased his weight down onto it, clasped his hands loosely between long legs and studied her. The wind blew his red hair across his face, the freckled nose, long honey brown eyes. It suddenly became difficult to sit so close to him. She crossed her legs and tried to steady her breathing. "It's all right," Ryan assured her, quiet, gentle. "I'm not coming any closer. Tell me why you're here."

"Coop and I separated." It wasn't why she was here, but it was a start, put out something easy first.

He looked down, then directly back at her. "I know, I heard about it. You know my opinion; I'm not offering condolences. The last time I saw you, you said you never wanted to see me again and kissed me goodbye with a steel pipe across the back of my head. What's going on, what do you want?"

"I...Ryan, there are some things, well there is one thing, there's something I have to tell you."

She shifted on the uneven slats, uncomfortable, dug her heels into the sand, clenched her hands together in her lap, all while Ryan continued to study her from a distance of only a few inches. This was going to hurt him, and she had already hurt him enough, and the necessity was one she couldn't quite justify as anything but selfish. One of those quixotic decisions made in the middle of the night: they seem reasonable in the dark, get rid of all the secrets, scrape them out, scour everything clean. Scouring someone else down to the bleeding core did not seem like such a great idea now that she was looking at this man. She was here, scour she would do.

"I know about Rayne. I know what she did to you, what you both did. You and Rayne, you and my daughter." One long hard push and there it was. "You slept with my daughter."

He jerked back as if stung, got to his feet, shoved past the chair, the chair toppled over into the grit and the water coming up into the sand. Beth leaped after him, banging her hip on the other chair, put one hand on his back, bad move such a stupid bad total messed up thing to do, "Ryan, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you, I thought it would be better if you knew. Ryan, I'm sorry."

He kept his back turned to her, gazing at the water, at the bridge, something anything except her. She felt him draw a long breath, felt it through her hand. Still not looking at her, his voice thick and unsteady, Ryan said, "Don't apologize, you don't have a damned thing to apologize for. Beth, I didn't know it was Rayne...I was stinking blind drunk, I thought it was you. I don't know what to say to you, I don't know what harm I did to Rainie, I should have said something to you when I found out, but I swear I didn't know it was her."

"I know. Ryan, I know. It doesn't matter anymore. Not to me."

They stood there in silence, only the wind and the rasp of surf dragging pebbles out into the water and drowning them. "Tell me something," Ryan finally said, looking down at her, "what are you doing? You forced him out? Strategy to force his ass back into line, or are you moving on?"

Cooper's voice, the message he'd left last night, the aching empty hole in her life without him. Beth swallowed hard and, as honestly as she could, said, "I don't know yet. He wasn't happy, I don't know if I can make him happy."

Ryan shook his head, a short derisive bark of harsh laughter, "Let me guess, rock star says he's going to change all that."

"He's a good man -"

He abruptly grabbed her arms, his expression fierce and cut in hard. "Bullshit! He's an arrogant son of a bitch and you know it!"

"And I'm his wife, and I cheated on him! He has a right to be angry!"

"Beth, do you love me?"

This was not why she was here. Not that question. Beth pulled hard, trying to break free of his grip, he held on, tightening it. "I'm not waiting for you," so close she could feel his breath against her skin, remembering the taste of his skin, remembering his mouth, remembering everything, "I love you, but I'm not waiting. You came here, you know why you came here, tell me Beth tell me."

"Ryan, don't make me do that to you - "

He interrupted her again, demanding, ordering, "Tell me!"

What was she waiting for? For clarity? For honesty? Wasn't that why she was here? Why was she here? Emotion sunk sharp teeth into her and shook her until she gasped and cried out, "You know I loved you! Why do you think I kept quiet? Why do you think I came to your house the morning after Rayne? Why do you think I couldn't go in? Why do you think I never said anything to anybody? Why do you think I'm here? Oh Ryan, everything is so messed up!"

Ryan didn't let go. He pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, holding on, giving his warmth strength heartbeat, the ocean of pain and tears pounding through her against that massive strength. It would tear him down. In time it would tear down a mountain. For now, the mountain still stood, resting his chin against her forehead, taking her pain, silent, wet, windblown, shaking, but still standing. Still there, this time, this one last time.

--------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 34

Sessions Chapter 32 - Call Your Name

2010-08-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low
Can you hear me when I call your name?

Oceanside - Palms Hotel: 2 PM

Kicking sheets aside, Cooper struggled up out of that old dream, sucking for air through suffocating dream smoke, fighting for breath, fighting past the fire it caught him burned pain god he was burning.... there was no smoke. He could breathe. The room was cool. A hotel. His thoughts blurred, where the hell was he, on tour, in a room he couldn't for the moment recognize. He'd dreamed it, it was another nightmare, he didn't go there in his dreams, hadn't gone there in years, she kept him from going there, she stood in the way.

He sat up on the the bed and peered out through a headache that wouldn't quit at sunlight in palm trees. He'd dumped the suitcases in a corner when he dragged himself here a few hours ago and literally fallen into bed. That was about four hours ago. It was quiet. The expensive quiet he insisted and paid for, couldn't hear the wind in those trees, couldn't hear a thing. Quiet. He clenched his hands in the pillow cases, damn, no I didn't dream it. Fuck. It's real. This time it's real.

Oceanside - Palms Hotel 4 PM

Arriving shortly after Cooper had finished eating, Slim took the chair opposite him and signaled the waitress for coffee. "Strange place to be meeting isn't it?" One look at Slim's expression was all it took to realize he had a pretty good idea why Coop was at a hotel. Still, he needed to talk to him, strategize, and formulate some kind of plan to deal with the Gemma issue. Slim was not only his trusted friend but a shrewd business partner.

"Beth tossed me out of the house yesterday." Cooper watched Slim's face for a reaction. He got none except for a slight tensing of his jaw. Slim merely sat back arms folded and Cooper wondered how much he may have already known.

"Go on."

Cooper told him everything from his fight with Rayne to the fight with Wyatt that drove him to leave for Gemma's house. Cooper detailed his encounter with Ryan McDermott and finished with his conversation at Chameleon with Melinda. "We've been at odds for awhile, always about McDermott. I should have let it go but I didn't. I promised her we'd start over but I didn't keep up my end. I pushed her too far Slim. I beat her down until she thought the only thing left was to let me go. It's the last thing I want."

Slim's face remained impassive and yet Cooper knew instinctively that his friend was not pleased with either him or his behavior. That reaction further solidified his anger with himself at having been too hotheaded and stubborn to see things clearly. "By now you should have figured out how to keep your damned mouth shut. You keep after her about McDermott and throw the whorehouse in her face, I see why she threw you out, no mystery there. If you want her back, man go do some groveling. Is there something else going on?”

This was it. Cooper leaned an elbow on the table and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. A vivid memory of that time so long ago when Slim believed Cooper had cheated on Julia came to mind. He winced slightly and then braced himself as he spoke in a quiet voice. "That's what I am going to need your help with. I went to Gemma Wilson's house. I was livid. At Beth. At Ryan. At my kids. At her for rekindling my memories of Jules. I took her that night. I slept with Gemma."

Slim leaned in, his mouth a twisted scowl. "Jesus fucking christ Coop: Gemma? Are you out of your mind? What're you telling me, that we've got to come up with a way to keep her from telling Beth? Give her what? Any damned thing she wants? Contracts for any piece of shit band she can dig up?"

Cooper frowned. "I know it's bad; I know I fucked up. Are you going to help me deal with this or not?"

Slim stood and looked down at Coop. "I'll make the call and set up a meeting." Hesitating as if he intended to say more, Slim released a deep breath. "I'll let you know the when and where." Turning he strode purposefully away.

Oceanside - Palms Hotel 10 PM

Restless, Cooper paced back and forth. He'd tried to write in between calling Beth. No one answered the house phone. He wouldn't leave a voice message knowing that the twins would more than likely intercept and erase any message he would have left. Besides, what he wanted to say was too personal, too intimate for their ears. He'd already left messages on Beth's cell telling her where he was staying and how to reach him. She hadn't called.

Cooper eased onto the couch in his room and plucked absently at his guitar, then set it aside and stared out at the ocean. It wasn't very late but he was in no mood to go out and deal with the club scene. Maybe a walk on the beach would help clear his head.

Rising he stood in front of the window and looked out at the lights and beyond toward where he knew his home was. Certain that Beth remained there with the kids he exhaled and tried her cell. One ring and it went straight to voice mail. It was off. She had turned her cell phone off.

Grumbling inwardly he snapped it shut and resumed staring out the window remembering the first time they met, the connection that was like electricity. He'd fought hard to make Beth his. They had been through so much, so many obstacles stood in their way but he persisted and won her heart. Then he managed to crush her slowly and painstakingly, something he never meant to do but his jealousy and pride prevented him from seeing that. She had been his touchstone and he let her slip away.

Swearing he picked up the cell once more and dialed. "Beth, baby it's me. Meet me for dinner tomorrow night at that restaurant on the pier in Bay View, you know the one. I'll be there at 7. I miss you baby. Please. We need...I want to talk about this. I love you."

Setting the phone down Cooper ran a hand through his hair absently and returned to the window more determined than ever to find his way home. He'd always been able to seduce her, get her to put everything aside for him. He had never lost a woman he wanted to keep, and damn it, this was not going to be the first time, not with the only one he'd ever really wanted.

South Beach - 11 PM

"I miss you baby. Please. We need...I want to talk about this. I love you."

Damn you, Coop...no. Just no.

--------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 25

Sessions Chapter 31 - Gone

2010-07-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Time slips through my fingers...
inside my head...
here for a moment...
and is gone...
tell me
Tell me (I wanna know where the love's gone)
Where's the love gone?

Cooper left his bike at the curb, stumbled as he stepped away from it, his vision still blurred, the headache a relentless web of pain. He put his hands to his temples and tried to work through this. He could fix it. Beth's voice mail had been frantic, she was taking the responsibility for this cluster fuck, he'd let her take it, make apologies for the misunderstanding, put it back together. No reason she ever had to know about Gemma. He hadn't showered, could Beth smell the sex, smell another woman?

He punched in the security code twice, and twice it failed. Someone had changed it. Swearing quietly, Cooper stepped back, looked up at the house, the second story an illusion toppling on him. He could get in from the back but it wouldn't be easy, and it would mean climbing a fence.

"You should leave." The voice was steady, cool, and close.

Nate stood in the grass near the fountain, his brother a few steps behind him. Both of them had gained height, and they lined up together, blocking the path to the gate and the rear entrance. Weary and anxious, Cooper snarled at his son, "Open the damned door, Nate. I'm not playing games with you."

"You're right," Eric said, striding out in front of his twin, both of them making their way now through blooming shrubbery toward the front door. "You're not playing games with us. Take it somewhere else."

Nate ran one casual hand through his hair, showing teeth, a long cold smile. "Take it back where you put it last night. Maybe she's missing it by now, never can tell, miracles happen. Either way, you're not getting past us."

One long moment of incredulity, incredibility, no, his kid hadn't said that, fuck yeah he had said it, Cooper strode through the damned bush, stomping bush and grass and grabbing his son by the shoulders and slamming him hard against the wall, Nate slipping on the wet grass, head banging on the stone. He heard his son's teeth click together, heard him gasp, his own golden eyes glaring back up at him as he pinned Nate against the wall. "You don't go there with me. Do you understand that?" He tightened his grip, demanded again, "Do you understand me?"

"He might not, but I do."

Beth stood in the watery sunlight, watching him, dark eyed, standing in her own shadow as the sun rose over the roof. Cooper dropped Nate, leaving him staggering against the wall, and turned to face her. She held as much pain and as much fault as he did, holding it in her eyes. The woman who had dragged him up from the shadow and fought to keep him and then turned her face to someone else. Or had she? What was real? Mel said it was nothing like that, and if he looked at everything from even a slightly different angle, he could see, finally saw, an alternate pattern in the picture.

Cooper went to her, looked down at her, seeing the fear, knowing his own. "We need to talk."

Eric, the son named after his own father, always the cooler of the twins, glanced at his shaken brother and then swept blue eyes toward his mother. Waiting. "It's all right," Beth assured him. "We have things we need to settle. Watch the baby for me will you Eric?"

Following her through the door into the shaded foyer, Cooper noticed suitcases ominously stacked in the hall. He started to demand an explanation, rapidly realized there was only one explanation, one he was not going to accept. Nobody was going anywhere.

She walked ahead of him into their bedroom, waited for him, closed and locked the door, walked right past him to the French doors overlooking the terrace and the ocean and asked in a small voice, "Are you all right?"

"A bitch of a headache but I'll live. I guess I have you to thank for that."

"The headache or the life?"

"Little of both baby." Cooper reached out, touched her cheek, she looked like hell, looked as bad as he felt, but she'd probably spent the night crying instead of the way he'd spent it.

Drawing a long breath, uncertain what to say, what would be enough, he started in on it. "Beth, I'm sorry. I should not have said that to you, never meant it, I should not have left you there, I'm an ass. I fucked up."

She hesitated, then took a careful and deliberate step away from him, staying out of reach. Ready for it, prepared for the crack of her anger, it didn't come. Tracing something invisible on the glass with the tip of one finger, her voice still, quiet, expression remote, she seemed to force herself to even ask the question. "What made you change your mind?"

He cast a glance at the bed, exhaustion shaking him. If he could put this all aside for a few hours, get her in bed, get some sleep, he'd be better prepared to deal with an ugly explanation, an explanation that was never going to include Gemma, he couldn't even begin to think how he was going to deal with that. Leaning against the wall for some small support, Cooper considered it, he had to tell her something, "Mel told me Ryan was there with her. She explained what happened, you weren't there with Ryan, he's working for her, something like that, I went over there and she explained..."

The reaction he was waiting for didn't happen. Beth opened the doors and walked out onto the terrace and the blast of sunlight and water. "I owe her then."

Stunned, the last time Mel and her whorehouse had come up, she'd blown the roof off. Cooper walked after her, squinting into the light, pain ripping through his head, he stiffened trying to fight it, reaching out for her, catching her around her waist, pulling her against him, her body pliant and warm and he could breathe again, it was going to work. "Beth, it doesn't mean anything, you know that. Baby I'm wiped. My head's killing me, every bone and muscle in my body aches. I want to talk, we need to talk but I just need a couple of hours. I'll do anything to make things up to you, anything you want. I'm so damned sorry, baby I love you, you know I love you."

She took his hand, lacing her fingers through his, the clasp gentle, but she was trembling, shaking. "You don't understand. I'm the one who cheated. I've tried, Coop I've tried so hard to make you know it will never happen again, that I regret it, but nothing works. It's broken. It can't be fixed. I can't fight about this anymore. The suitcases by the door, they're yours. You need to take them, you need to cut your losses, and you need to go. I love you, I love you so much, but it's over."

--------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 32

Sessions 30 - What Have We Become

2010-07-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

Building up your wall from everything you wanted
Fit the pieces into holes we used to crawl away
Finding out the truth when nothing really matters
Chase the light that's blinding even as you crawl away

Giving in or leaving too slow
Now we have what we have become

What Have We Become ~ Daughtry

Millwood - North Lake Drive 7 am

Leaving Gemma's house without bothering to wake her, increasingly uneasy, anxious to get out of the place, Cooper paused beside his bike and took a deep breath of the cool air blowing off the lake. Now what?

He checked his cell while he tried to order his thoughts, decide what the hell he was going to do, and saw three calls from Beth. One of them included frantic voice mail. She was crying, telling him she could explain, that he'd gotten it wrong, was he all right, would he at least let her know he wasn't hurt. Staring at it, he fought a wave of pain so damned strong, pain raking through him, snapped the cell shut, shoved it into his pocket and got on the bike. Fuck her. He'd go anywhere but back there now.

East Metro Area - Chameleon

Dawn broke violet and deep blue as Melinda unlocked the door to her office. She set down her bag, glanced idly at the stack of mail from yesterday, and then sighing, leaned against it. She gripped the edge of the desk as she remembered yesterday's events. Ryan and Cooper Stanfield brawling in the alley, a very one-sided fight; Melinda shuddered and closed her eyes. She knew what Ryan was capable of, that he could have easily killed Cooper. If it hadn't been for Beth and that pipe, the horror on her face, Mel didn't think he would have stopped.

Ryan hadn't said a word the entire drive back. Although she tried to reason with him, all Mel got was a murderous glare and silence. There wasn't much she could do for him anyway. Knowing that Ryan would sink further into oblivion, she partly blamed herself for dragging him into her mess. Cooper and Beth, on the other hand, that was something she might be able to fix, she had to try.

A light tapping at the door just before it opened startled Mel. Tensing, she gasped and turned her head toward the sound. Lyra walked in something clearly bothering her as she chewed her lower lip. "You're here," Lyra's wispy voice vaguely annoyed Mel.

"So I am. What is it?" She hadn't meant to snap at her but Melinda was tired and still unnerved.

"There is something you need to know." The pretty blonde leaned in as if someone might overhear her and spoke quietly in Mel's ear. She rose slowly as the words sank in. Cooper was here leaving Melinda apprehensive over what had gone on. Her girls wouldn't approach him, they knew better, but Cooper had the power to change that at any time. It was always his call.

"Tell me where he is and who is with him."

Stepping off the elevator to the private bar, she saw Cooper sitting his longs legs stretched out and nursing a drink in his hand while two of her girls entertained him, one on either side. He looked terrible and Mel wondered if he had eaten or slept at all. Slowly she approached them while struggling with what she could say that might somehow make things right.

Looking up at her through hooded eyes Cooper rasped, "Come to join the party?"

The two girls waited expectantly until Melinda gave them a meaningful glance. They stood murmuring vague apologies and sauntered off while Cooper smiled irreverently. "You want me all to yourself then."

"What are you doing here Cooper?"

"This is still a whorehouse isn't it? What do you think I'm doing here?" Cooper stood and moved languidly toward her. "It's been a long, long time Melinda. I imagine you've just gotten better."

Cooper's words stung, probably more than they should have. "Let's go somewhere more private so we can talk." Melinda turned as she spoke, moving toward one of the adjacent rooms and gesturing for Cooper to follow.

"I know where you're taking me; which one of us has been naughty? I hope it was you." Cooper chuckled deeply as he caught Melinda by the waist drawing her toward him while his other hand skimmed along her thigh. Startled by the action Mel glared at him over her shoulder before pushing his hand away. Leading him into the room, she turned on her heel and let him have it.

"In case you forgot, I don't do that anymore. What's wrong with you?" Shoving him toward the bed, the only place where you could sit in this particular room, Melinda drew a breath and tried to gather her thoughts.

"Come on Mel, I've got more than enough to make it worth your while - money's no object either." Cooper grinned as he settled against the headboard and scanned the room noticing handcuffs, ticklers, crops, chains suspended from the ceiling and some kind of padded bench that he knew was for discipline before sliding his eyes back on Melinda.

"You arrogant jerk you should be at home with your wife. Ryan would have killed you right there in front of her Cooper! He...he's not the man you knew, not by a long shot. He wouldn't have thought twice about it and he wouldn't have lost a moment's sleep either. Beth bashed him with a pipe, for heaven's sake!"

Melinda began to tremble. She knew that gut wrenching agony of loving someone so desperately and seeing them walk away without a backwards glance. It was way too late for her, but she would not stand by and let Cooper's ego get in the way of the truth. "You were way off base Cooper. Ryan was with me yesterday, waiting for me, he works for me. It was an unfortunate coincidence that Beth was there but that was all it was. And you've got some nerve jumping to conclusions about what went on."

Cooper threw his long legs over the side of the bed and stood. He seemed weary and his expression, that smoldering fire in his eyes, made it clear that talking about Ryan and Beth or anything for that matter was the last thing he wanted. "Mel..."

"No, you don't get to talk, I'm talking and you're listening damn it! Beth loves you Cooper! She was devastated and scared and you walked away and left her in that alley! No one deserves that, especially not someone you love. You should be crawling back on your knees and begging her to forgive you!"

"She was clinging to him Melinda, I needed her but she held onto him instead! If she'd stood by me, come to me..."

"Stood by you...you're insane! That is all she does Cooper, through all your shit, all your antics on the road. You think she doesn't know about that? You don't deserve her if that is what you think." Melinda's expression softened with emotion as she stared at him. "She saved your ass Cooper! Ryan would have ripped you apart! You made a tremendous mistake and jumped to the wrong conclusions. For your sake, go fix this, make it right, at least try." Placing her hand on his arm, she murmured, "A woman in love will forgive almost anything."

Cooper's legs would no longer support him as Beth's frantic voice mail came flooding back, her pleas to him in between uncontrollable sobs ripping a new hole in his heart. He sunk to the bed horrified. "What have I done..." He looked up at Melinda, his voice shaken, hoarse, "And coming here isn't the worst of it."

---------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 31

Sessions Chapter 29 - Heart Shaped World

2010-07-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Trouble, going round. Trouble, in this town.
What happened to you little baby? What happened to you little girl?
She left you out there crying, in your heart shaped world.

Metro: Chinatown Tunnel - 5:45 pm

"Stay down," Ryan ordered, watching Stanfield walk off, not one damned look back. He kept his hand on Beth's shoulder, slid it up through her hair, taking a deep fistful of her hair and clenching his hand around it. She was shaking. She landed a good one across his back, something he was going to feel tomorrow, something he was already feeling, but she'd fallen hard, and hearing that asshole rip into her, he knew it had taken whatever breath she had.

Mel knelt down, quietly questioning her, something Beth didn't appear to understand or hear. "I'm all right," she said it in a strange thin voice, and shifted, trying to get to her feet. "I have to go. I have to explain."

"We need to talk about that." He lifted her easily and held on, and she let him hold her, blank, boneless.

"Ryan," Mel began carefully, "we need to go."

Beth put her hands against his chest and pushed back, pushed hard, smacking against him. No way she could shove him aside but her intent was clear, and, stung, he let go. "Get away from me!" she hissed.

She started to get into the car, stumbled and leaned against it with a long gasp, Mel coming up beside her, Beth shaking her head. "Leave me alone," she cried out. "Both of you, leave me alone!"

He knew her, knew every little move, knew she wasn't anywhere near fine, moved in and blocked her from getting in the car. She wasn't getting past him. Trying to get through, she was upset but he had to try, "Where the hell do you think you're going? Come on Beth, he doesn't give a shit about you! Don't go running after him, give me a chance to work something out, but damn it don't chase him down!"

Leaning back against the white fender of that expensive car, mud on her dress, making it up as she went along, one long make believe girl cry, he knew it, knew she didn't know what she was doing, yell first and then walk it back, that was his girl, yelling at him now. "Back off, Ryan! I told you before that we're done and I meant it then and I mean it now! I don't ever want to see you again! Never! Do you get that?"

Beth yanked open the door, staggered into the car, rain all over the dash and seats and the key, she kept her head down and started the car. Backed it up, hitting the wall on the way out, and burned rubber, headed in the wrong direction, accelerating the wrong way down a one way street.

He wanted to go after her, make her see how wrong she was, take her somewhere, wrap his arms around her and keep her safe. He wanted to hunt down Stanfield and kill the son of a bitch. He'd waited so damned long, knew it was coming, but he'd underestimated how hard it would be when he saw it tear her apart. His shoulders hurt, pain climbing up through his neck. Misery so powerful he had to fight to stand there..

Mel placed a cool hand on his arm, and Ryan leaned into her, torn, trying to hang on, trying to convince himself she'd be back, she needed him. She'd be back. Despite the heat, he shivered, and stood there, stuck, speared, pinned and bleeding.

"Ryan," Mel urged again gently, "this isn't your fight. Come on, we have to go."

--------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 30

Sessions 28 - Closer

2010-07-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I’ve got no soul to sell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself

Millwood: North Lake Drive - 7:30 pm

Cooper moved toward the front door, one long stride after another. The ride over here had done nothing to assuage his rage or the incessant pounding in his head and his body ached but he ignored it. Millwood was quiet, always so damned quiet, only serving to amplify the roar in his ears. No doubt the front door would be unlocked; no one locked their doors here. Testing the handle the latch gave way easily in his hand; he shoved the door open and entered.

"Gemma!" Cooper's rough voice shouted as he quickly walked from room to room sidestepping the annoying interference of a cat as it wove in and out of his path as if to waylay him and looked for her. "Gemma where in hell are you damn it?" Cooper massaged the back of his neck, bruised and aching; he'd tear the place up if he had to. Turning he saw her slender legs as Gemma moved fluidly down the staircase.

"Cooper, this is a surprise, what are you doing here?"

She moved toward him, every step just like his dead wife, smooth and delicate, her voice had that same lilt. It only served to further incense him. "I warned you to stay away from my family." The deep timbre of his voice was a barely contained threat as he moved toward her. "You wanted my attention, well now you've got it!" Cooper's eyes were slits as he reached out with arms shaking in fury.

Gemma's expression turned from surprise to alarm as she tentatively stepped backward. "Don't flatter yourself into thinking anything I do is for your attention. I came to you looking for an opportunity and you slammed the door in my face. I told you I would approach Wyatt. He was free to turn me down but he didn't. It's just business." She tried to move away from him slowly as she spoke. It was clear that he was slowly losing control of his anger although it seemed irrational to lose it over a business deal.

It began to spread through his body in an overwhelming and angry wave. The woman who was his light, his touchstone, had betrayed him, had chosen another man and left him feeling bitter and bereft. That pain was infinitely worse than any physical pain McDermott could have dealt. Cooper glared at Gemma incensed and in turmoil over the range of emotions that shook him. With his vision blurred she looked more like Julia than ever. He grabbed her roughly not caring that he was easily bruising her pale arms as he gripped them. Cooper saw the growing fear in her eyes as she tried to push him away.

"Take your hands off of me! You're hurting me!"

Ryan McDermott had taken the woman he loved; Gemma threatened to destroy what he had left of his family. The corporeal form of his dead wife, Julia incarnate and he had to exorcise her ghost once and for all. A deep growl rose from his chest as Cooper looked down at her. "Damn you! Why can't you stay dead?"

Gripping her hair roughly in his fist he lowered his head and crushed her mouth against his in a violent kiss. Gemma struggled at the ferocity of his passion, if it could even be called that, until he stopped the assault on her mouth briefly and ripped her top from her body, its delicate fabric rending easily in his hands.

Cooper could see her pulse beating wildly in the curve of her neck as she struggled to regain her composure. His body roiled in pain, fury, and arousal. Cooper could have any damned woman he wanted except the one that truly mattered. Cursing under his breath he bent his head toward Gemma's neck. He was going to take her. He was not going to be gentle. He was going to fuck her until they were both spent. And then he would walk away, forget them all.

Lifting her easily Cooper carried her up the stairs, kicked open what he assumed was her bedroom door, vaguely heard it slam shut from the brute force and roughly laid her on the bed before pulling his shirt off as he moved toward her. Gemma's eyes provoked him, the damned bitch. He dragged her body toward him as he loosened his belt. When he spoke again his voice was hoarse, rough. "Why can't you just stay buried?"

---------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 29

Sessions 27 - Not Meant to Be

2010-07-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

It's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me, and I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

Metro: Chinatown Tunnel - 5:15 pm

Cooper braked hard, staring at the couple strolling down the sidewalk past the Rooms for Rent and Triple XXX DVD signs, struggled with rage and disbelief before he yanked the heavy bike down the alley after them.   The bike bucked over a curb; he fought it, forced it, skidded left, braked again, cut the engine.

Beth stood between her car, parked next to a goddamned dumpster, and Ryan McDermott.   She saw him, and she looked white to the bone. McDermott took two quick strides and planted himself next to her.   Son of a bitch...

The place stunk. Exhaust from the freeway, garbage, somebody pissing against the wall. He hadn't been in a shit hole like this in years, many years, and did not believe she'd been hanging around and breathing the fumes because she enjoyed the smell.

The heavy skies opened up, dumped rain, water filling the air, dull thunder. Shoving in between them, Cooper glared at his wife and demanded, "What the hell is going on here?"

"Coop, nothing's going on." He expected her to come back at him, fight, argue; she didn't. She glanced uneasily between the two of them and put her hand on his arm. He felt the tension in her hand, the rings, the canary diamond he'd given her, the wedding ring, she gripped his arm so hard he felt every ring, then she pulled back. "I had an appointment and it didn't work out," she said, a tight voice. "I'm leaving. That's all I'm doing, I'm leaving."

"An appointment," he repeated.

Cooper shifted his eyes from one to the other, anger roiling inside him, Beth watching him, wary, and McDermott, his expression murderous, waiting poised to strike. He didn't buy it; appointment my ass, in this part of town? They'd played him. Meeting in a cheap, filthy place like this to fuck - the thought of it made him sick as he bit out a response. "By the hour was it? What's the problem, did I interrupt the meeting?"

The blow came before he'd even finished the sentence, fast, hard. McDermott slammed him against the side of the wall, taking his breath, one long harsh growl, "You miserable prick, I should have kicked your ass a long time ago!" Ryan's hands gripped him brutally; he could feel them tightening like vices, vision fading as he struggled to breathe.

He tasted blood, heard Beth screaming "Get off him GET OFF HIM!" might have seen her, one quick glimpse, the glimpse gone hurled against the dumpster, heard her long terrified cry even though he couldn't see her or catch his breath.

McDermott staring him down, the man's breath in his face, a deep grinding threat: "You want to sing me a song rock star? Sing your last damned song. I'm done with your shit."

Fighting back, digging in an elbow, finding an edge, losing the edge, losing it, losing breath, Beth's voice echoing drifting through the rain. Something hit, a long pipe swung at the man's back, rain pounding down, he saw it, blacking out, Beth at the other end of that pipe a long silent solid thud. The dumpster rocked under the force of that swing forcing all them back against the brick bouncing back again skidding on the wet pavement.

Ryan dropped him with a grunt of surprise. Dropped him cold. Staggering, Cooper saw McDermott turn his attention to Beth, she was down on her knees in the rain on the pavement next to the pipe. She wasn't fighting, she was kneeling there in the rain, rain running down her hair and her face. Another woman came running, running in the rain, he couldn't see her clearly, couldn't focus.

Enraged, in pain, wanting to go back at McDermott, knowing he couldn't take him, knowing she knew it, he locked his wife down with his gaze, Beth... and she was looking back at him now but she didn't get up. She didn't move.   She should move, he wanted her to get up, to come to him.   She sat there in the oily rain blocking McDermott, hanging onto McDermott.

"You want him, take him. I'm finished with you. I'm out of here."

----------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 28

Sessions 26 - Torch

2010-07-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

These are the things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I'd have to lay down my torch for you like this

Metro: Chinatown Tunnel - 4:55 pm

Ryan paced the ten steps down the sidewalk, past the liquor store, keeping an eye on the bank across the street. Mel had been in there only two minutes. He glanced around the corner, started to turn back, when one of parked cars caught his attention.   You're imagining things, he gruffly told himself. No way she would be in this neighborhood.

The hotel door swung open, banging on broken hinges, catching the woman by surprise as she tried to catch it, prevent it from slamming into the glass. She missed, let it go, stepped out into the hot sunlight, blinked, and looked directly at him.

Stunned, Ryan could do nothing, say nothing, staring at her while she stared back. She took a step in the other direction, then turned back, looking at him, still silent.   "Beth?" he finally managed to say.   When she didn't move, didn't speak, he drew a long, unsteady breath and went to her, still not sure she was going to wait for him. The air shook, cars thundering across the overpass above him. She looked up, hesitated, but she didn't go. She waited.

The awning cast a shadow across her face but she hadn't changed, the same woman who continued to haunt his dreams, the one he had when he woke up alone and sweating. "How are you, Ryan?" she said, that soft familiar voice, but she seemed stiff, her voice careful, formal. She backed up, smoky blue eyes, pretty little lace dress, rings sparkling on her fingers, exactly as he remembered her. Better than he'd remembered her.

His right hand propped against the grimy wall, he smiled down at her. He hadn't seen her since that brief glimpse at the police station, and hadn't been this close since she turned him away that night outside Stanfield's mansion.   It couldn't hurt to say a couple of words to her. It couldn't hurt to talk to her... "What are you doing here? Are you here by yourself?"

"I was supposed to meet someone about a renovation; he didn't show. I was just leaving." All the easy camaraderie they'd once had was gone, replaced by painful intensity and wariness. She looked almost frightened, poised to leap and run, arms crossed defensively across her breasts.

Ryan had spent a lot of time wondering if she knew about Rayne, struggling with the shame, shoving the thoughts aside, but they crept back again now. He didn't believe she knew. She wouldn't exchange one word with him if she did. It wasn't him, it had to be Cooper, that had to be it, and there wasn't a damned thing he could do but respect that choice.

"It's not safe," he gently told her, letting his hand brush her bare shoulder, travel down to her hand. Beth didn't pull away, but neither did she accept the handclasp. His heart aching, he let it go. "I'll walk you to your car."

-----------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 27

Sessions 25 - Eruption

2010-07-12T21:12:00.000-07:00

Metro Area: Hitman Records 4:19PM

Wyatt slid the red Beetle into the parking lot and walked slowly toward the front entrance to Hitman Records. Before he reached the door a deep velvet voice called out. "You still drive that little thing?" Wyatt turned in the direction of the rich voice and grinned. Slim had been like a father to him during the years that his father had been missing. They remained close even after Cooper's return even though they had not seen as much of each other as they used to. With Wyatt at the university it wasn't always easy to make the trip to the metro area. Today however, Wyatt insisted on finding the time; he needed to speak to his father.

"You're a bit off course aren't you kid? You should be at school." Slim's voice was admonishing but his green eyes flickered with amusement behind his ever-present shades. Draping a muscular arm over Wyatt's shoulders Slim steered him toward the door.

"I'm here to see my dad although I don't see his bike anywhere. I called the house but no one was home. I figured he'd be here."

Wyatt followed Slim to the front desk and waited patiently while Slim asked the girl if Coop had arrived. She smiled flirtatiously at Wyatt and shook her head. "I'm sure your father is on his way in kid; we have some contracts we need to go over, tour dates to review. Come on upstairs and we'll catch up until he gets here. You ever see Will on campus?"

Wyatt trailed Slim up the stairs. Picking up a pool cue, he challenged Slim to a game. Figuring he might get some information from Slim that he wouldn't from his father Wyatt casually mentioned a name. "Slim, what do you know about my mother's side of the family?"

"Not much. Why do you ask?"

"My mom had a cousin, Gemma Wilson, does that name mean anything to you?"

Slim's expression was impassive as he gripped the stick and regarded Wyatt. "That is one name I do know. Gemma is an agent. She just broke into the business and has been aggressively shopping Brew to the label. Cooper isn't very enthusiastic about signing them. Jimmy Breaux is a big risk." He drew a breath and held it for a long while before continuing. "I take it you've come in contact with her?"

Wyatt nodded. "We've talked. I had dinner at her place. She seems all right to me."

Slim bent over the table to line up his next shot. "Then you're aware she bears an uncanny resemblance to your mother." It wasn't a question.

Wyatt straightened up, set the stick down. "I'm aware of it. She looks like my mother, she's related, it happens, so what? What's the big deal about signing Breaux? I met him. He was helping Rainie move out; he seems like a stand up guy, talented. He just needs a chance."

"Did she send you here to try and sway a contract?" Cooper's voice, gravel wrapped in silk, interrupted the game as he angrily strode toward the duo.

It momentarily surprised him but then Wyatt's temper flared. "Nobody sent me here. I said I ran into him, he was with Rayne, and yeah, I think it's shortsighted to walk away from Breaux, I think it's a mistake. He's damned good. You're throwing away great talent. If you want the label to be about nothing but what's safe, then go right ahead and ignore bands like Brew. And what the hell is going on with Rayne? Why am I hearing it from Randi that my sister's been cut out?"

Slim shot a quick glance at Cooper, took a step back from the table, crossed his arms and leveled his eyes at Wyatt. "We built this label together, Wyatt, and I can guarantee you nothing we do is about safe, but like I said, some risks aren't worth it. Jimmy Breaux is one of them. I'll leave you and your father to talk about your sister." He nodded at Cooper, shoved past him and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Cooper waited, watching Wyatt, then slowly strode around the pool table, prowling, stalking him. "You've been discussing my contract decisions with Gemma?"

Standing his ground Wyatt glared at his father eyes burning like dry ice and bit back hard. "Yeah I talked to her. She's got some good ideas. We discussed setting up my own production company with Gemma, picking up talent you won't look at, like Brew. Or Rayne. Rayne's damned good, never noticed that did you? Yeah, I'm thinking about it, and I'm working with Gemma."

"That insufferable bitch, the hell you are working with her! I won't allow it!"

"You won't allow it? I'm not sixteen anymore! What's your problem with her? She looks like Mom? Did you hate Mom so much that you can't let me have some piece of her?"

"Don't be stupid Wyatt, she came onto me and didn't get what she wants so she is going to use you just like Bailey did! Open your eyes damn it! She doesn't give a damn about you; she wants me and she is going through you!"

Wyatt exploded. "What the hell are you talking about? I got past Bailey; did you get past my mother? You think Gemma wants you? You're dead wrong! It is always about you! That's why Rayne left isn't it, because you can't see past your own ego? You push us all around like pieces on a chess board and do whatever you want and don't give a damn! That's probably why Beth fucked McDermott!" Wyatt paused for a split second then turned on his heel. "Fuck you Dad, I'm out of here - you figure it out!"

Wyatt left the room without bothering to look back. Cooper leaned heavily on the pool table, a blinding rage consuming him. "That goddamn bitch I am going to rip her apart!"

Tearing down the stairs Cooper pushed through the back door, threw his leg over the bike and peeled away leaving a trail of rubber in his wake.

Metro Area: Chinatown Tunnel 4:53PM

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NEXT CHAPTER: Sessions Chapter 26

Sessions 24 - Half Light

2010-05-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

Fade black light, white light and stay
Stay half light
Half night and day

soundtrack:
Half Light ~ Low with Tomandandy

Hitman Studios: Downtown Metro Area, Late Afternoon

It was late afternoon, scattered beams of sunlight filtered through the windows as Cooper made his way downstairs. There weren't many people left, a few staffers, a couple of studio musicians and him. Pushing open the door to the recording studio Coop picked up his Kramer wrapping his long fingers around its neck almost lovingly as he eased onto a stool. He was surrounded by mahogany and expensive rugs, sensual deep colors that Beth had chosen. Closing his eyes he breathed in the aroma of rich leather as he began to carefully pick at a particular melody with which he had been toying.

His hands slid fluidly over the strings as he played drawing himself deeper into the song until he was oblivious to everything else. Cooper played the melody over and over changing it up, slowing it down, dropping the key. However much time had passed, he was unaware. This was his element and Cooper's entire body hummed; he was the hypnotic melody that flowed through the amp and filled the room.

It would have been impossible to count the number of times over the years that he spent long evenings playing and writing music. How many dinners had he been late for, how many times over the long span of time had he lost himself here in this room. Cooper wasn't sure what caused it but he suddenly felt a prickly sensation on the back of his neck. The music stopped as he rose, gently set his guitar against the leather couch and glanced around the room. His heart hammered in his chest as he saw the reflection in the control room window, a petite woman with long black hair stood in silhouette watching. Once the moment had passed, Cooper motioned for her to join him.

Gemma entered the room and smiled at Cooper as she lowered herself onto the couch. "That was impressive! I had heard that you really got into the zone when you were creating music but I never expected it would be like that. I still have goose bumps."

Cooper leaned against the stool, folded his arms and suspiciously watched her. "How did you get into my control room Gemma? Why are you here?"

Gemma rose and walked around the room admiring the various guitars and other equipment scattered around. Her hand rested against the neck of the guitar that Coop had been playing moments ago and drew a quick breath as if she could still feel the heat of his hands or the vibration of his music still flowing through it. Without looking at him she sidestepped his question and instead answered, "I was here once, a very long time ago. I'm sure you don't remember. It was just after Julia had disappeared."

Walking forward, Gemma watched him thoughtfully, "You were wasted out of your mind and entertaining a couple of girls, equally wasted as I recall. You were a very sad man, I could see that, but I was a star-struck young girl who wanted what my cousin had and lost. I envied her luck finding a guy like you, I was never as lucky in love as Julia. And there you were grieving for her, drowning in your loss."

Cooper stepped back struggling to remain focused. He didn't want to relive those painful days and preferred to keep them buried. "That was a lifetime ago. You're out of your mind to come here and try that with me."

"I'm not trying anything Cooper! I've spent the better part of my adult life trying to make something of myself no thanks to my family. So what if I use what I have to get my foot in the door? That's all I'm doing! Give me an opportunity; take a chance on me, is that so much to ask? I don't want anything else from you and I swear you won't regret it."

"I'll ask again, how did you get in?"

Gemma waited, held her breath for the briefest of seconds, let it out and replied, "The girl at the desk let me in. I told her who I was. Look, don't fire her please? I was pretty convincing."

He hesitated, glancing past her at that leather couch. He remembered stretching out on it, his wife wrapped in his arms, her skirt hiked up, his pants unzipped, and Beth's laughter afterwards when he'd murmured a teasing complaint: he would never be able to look at the couch without seeing her there naked. "That," she had purred in contentment, "is the exactly the point." They'd grown closer, closer than they'd been in years, trying to rebuild trust, trying to keep everyone else out. Gemma's little trip down memory lane felt like an intro to seduction, and it alarmed and infuriated him. She was not just another woman; she threatened the fragile peace he'd finally attained.

Leaning in toward her, he spoke in a low, almost menacing voice. "Understand this, Gemma. You have no claim on my attention or my business. None. You want a chance? You've got the same chance any other agent has, and so far I am not impressed. Now get out of my studio, and do not, I repeat, do not pull this kind of stunt again."

Finnigan's Pub, Early Evening

Gemma walked purposely down the street toward the garage where she parked her car. Angry and distracted, she abruptly turned and headed toward the pub just ahead. How could she have been so foolish; she knew better than to play the seduction card. Hell she hadn't really even tried but that's exactly how she came off and now she may have blown her chance. Worst of all, Cooper, a notorious flirt, didn't even give her the time of day. Gemma always thought she was much more attractive than her cousin. She was certainly considerably more outgoing if her sordid past with men was any indication. Had Cooper buried his feelings for Julia for good? "He's moved on, cousin, truly over you. I wonder how that would make you feel?"

Pushing through the door Gemma chided herself, "Stupid girl, now what are you going to do?" She as much as guaranteed a contract to Brew, to Jimmy in particular, and he was the key to the kingdom. If she blew this he would walk and effectively flush her career down the toilet. What band would trust her after this?

Gemma ordered a drink, an expensive Merlot, and carried it with her upstairs. She had to think, find an angle that would get her back into Hitman with a signed contract before she met with Jimmy and the boys. She was so preoccupied, so lost in thought, that the man who approached her from behind caught her off guard. "Well hello there gorgeous; you look lost in thought. Did you know that would give you wrinkles frowning like that?"

Smiling, she turned slowly and faced the man behind her. Perhaps this night wouldn't be a complete bust after all.

Hitman, Late Evening

It was long after dark, hours after he'd planned to finish and leave. The last riff still running through him, through his hands, Cooper shut it down, left the studio, slammed and locked the door and strode across the parking lot toward his bike. A light flickered, spat, burned out, leaving him in the dark.

"Cooper." One word, his name, quiet, close, neither male nor female, a breath carrying his name.

He stiffened, turned hard, staring into the shadows. A couple at the far end of the sidewalk crossed the street toward the club, laughing and hanging onto each other. A car drove by and took a left at the light, red tail lights shining. There was nothing there, nothing but ordinary traffic in the city at night. Unnerved, recalling his reaction when he saw Gemma's reflection a few hours ago, so much like Jules standing there watching him and waiting for him, waiting and watching, he found it hard to breathe. Come on, he told himself. Don't do this. You're gaslighting yourself.

"Fuck," he muttered, tired, close to exhausted, thinking he wanted to make that trip again tomorrow to see Rayne but damn it was two hours away. He needed to go home, take Beth to bed, let her help him shut it out, the memory, all of it, deal with the rest of it tomorrow. He'd set the whole issue of Gemma aside, hadn't explained her relationship with Jules to Beth, and he wondered, again, if he should. And decided again, that it wasn't worth it. There was no point in worrying her about nothing. Things were good between them now, very good, and he was determined to keep them that way.

He dug into his jeans for the keys, found them. He threw one leg over his bike, still struggling with the key, when he thought he heard it again, the quiet voice calling his name. This time he ignored it. Started the bike, revved the engine, and with one last look back into shadow, his skin crawling, turned his back and tore away, burning rubber, leaving a long black smoking track behind him.

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NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 20

Sessions 23 - Fire and Rain

2010-04-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now

Their encore had been a blur of music and lights along with the crowd screaming for more but Cooper's attention was definitely focused elsewhere. Whoever the girl was, she was the spitting image of Julia. He didn't discount the possibility that she could be a manufactured replica meant to derail him, it wouldn't be the first time he had been deceived with smoke and mirrors, but he shoved the idea aside. Julia was dead but this girl was a living, breathing mirror image of his long dead ex-wife and he was going to find out who she was. He was quickly realizing the plans he had made with Beth were going to need to be postponed. There was no way he was going to walk out of here without finding out who the hell this woman was and what she wanted. Grabbing his cell, he placed a call. "Hey baby, it's me..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm going to be longer than I thought - something's come up….Baby, I’m sorry. I’ll be there as soon as I can."

Beth stared speechlessly at the phone, then glanced up at the clubhouse. She saw him through the windows, standing there, not looking in her direction, looking at a woman. Who was she? Her skin crawled. She looked like Julia. Julia was dead. It wasn’t Julia, just someone who looked like Julia, looked too much like Julia. Tightening her grip on the phone, she almost challenged her husband, but she took a deep breath and replied shortly, "All right, I’ll see you later."

Brooding and uneasy, she lingered in the warm night air and continued to watch Cooper and the mystery woman. He leaned over her, then turned away, then turned back, his body language agitated. Several other women were wandering around, trying to catch his attention, getting distracted smiles but not the usual flirtation. Coop could knock them dead and dismiss them at the same time when he was into it. He didn’t seem to be into it.

Women came up with all kinds of bizarre excuses to get close to Cooper. It was conceivable that some look alike had deliberately played up the resemblance to Julia, hoping to intrigue and excite him. He would definitely be intrigued and excited, but all that old guilt and love and sorrow and loss was still there, bottled up, waiting for something like this to release it.

A thread of memory, a sunny day in the city in an art gallery, Ryan there with her, Ryan's deep voice warning her about Julia, about women in Cooper's past, what had he said? She remembered almost everything Ryan had ever said, every moment, his touch, his voice. He had said something about women, about ghosts from Cooper’s past. He’d said, "It doesn't do any good to look back at them." That advice had proved to be seriously wrong.

Instead of heading north across the dark field toward the parking lot, Beth grabbed the rail and started rapidly up the stairs, running almost headlong into Rafe who was exiting the press room via the back door. “Hey,” he greeted her absently, trying to get past.

“Rafe, wait a minute,” she said, grabbing at his arm, which seemed to be the only way to slow him down. “Do you know that woman with Cooper?”

He glanced back, shrugged, “She’s an agent; she’s shopping a couple of clients.”

That made some sense; at least it explained her presence. Beth mused, “She looks exactly like Julia.”

He stopped trying to get around her, looked back at the woman and then said, “I never met Julia. Pretty good angle though, she’s sure got his attention, but I doubt he’s going to buy what she’s selling. The best of them is that guy Breaux who can’t stay sober long enough to find his way to the studio. I hear he’s in rehab.”

The name meant nothing to her. Beth started to thank him and move on past when Rafe stepped into her path. It was quiet on the catwalk, and he pitched his voice low. “Speaking of rehab, how’s Rayne?”

She stiffened, pulled away from him. “I suppose she’s all right. Thank you. I don’t want to keep you, Rafe.”

“Beth,” he continued firmly, “you need to forgive her. She’s a kid. You and Ryan did a lot worse, and you know it. Think about how she felt seeing your bare ass plastered all over the tabloids. Give her a break.”

She could hear Cooper’s voice through the glass door. He sounded confused and irritated. This was not the time to chat about Rayne. She didn’t want to talk about Rayne, or think about Rayne and Ryan together, it brought up such impossible and conflicting emotions including a couple best left ignored back in the darkest shadows in her mind. “Rayne will be fine. Thank you for your concern; I have to go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cooper wove through the crowd mingling in the press room absently acknowledging fans, press, or the promoters that greeted him as his eyes scanned the room for the slender woman that threw him into a tailspin. Cooper spotted her at the buffet table idly chatting with a distributor. He watched her carefully, even her movements were like Julia's, but there was an edge to her that he never saw in J.

Drawing a deep breath he easily worked his way through the crowd and grasped her arm. "We need to talk. In the other room.” Leading the way, Cooper steered her away from the crowd.

“I don't believe you answered my earlier question. Who the hell are you?" She faced him, slowly dragging clear blue eyes up along his body until they met his gaze. Cooper was struck once more with the familiarity of those eyes, Julia's eyes, Wyatt's eyes, but there was a difference in the challenging glint apparent in this woman's.

"I didn't expect you to be this tall," she began. "I can certainly see why Julia would have been so smitten. I'm Gemma Wilson, Julia's cousin."

Cooper rocked back, stunned, and eyed her suspiciously. So she was related to J, but he didn’t remember a cousin, and he couldn’t wrap his mind around why she would be here, distracted by her looks, so much, too much like Jules. "Julia never mentioned you."

She laughed; it was almost musical, "Well no she wouldn't. We were never really close; our fathers didn't exactly see eye to eye on much of anything and neither did we. We were rather competitive, Julia in her mild-mannered way and me...well, not so mild-mannered. But I'm not here to discuss Julia."

He stepped close and in a hard voice, demanded, "Then why are you here? Why now? If you're looking for something from me, I can't help you."

Gemma slid back and settled on top of one of the crates, stretching out one long leg. "I think you can. I represent Brew. I'm shopping labels. Yours seemed like a good fit. Jimmy's going to be a big star so I'm giving you the first shot."

The last thing Coop wanted was to give Breaux a chance to get any closer to him or to Rayne. It was bad enough that he and Rayne ended up in the same rehab facility. Opening the door to further contact was not going to happen even if the guy was talented. And apart from Rayne, Breaux had a lousy rep; he'd fucked up every opportunity he'd had. He couldn't come up with any reason to associate his label with that idiot, not until he cleaned up, if and when that ever happened. "Jimmy Breaux? Why in hell would we sign him?"

"Give me a break Cooper. I saw the opening act. They stunk up the place, you know it and I know it. Jimmy's getting his shit together, but I think you know that already, and when he does he is going to be a force in this business." She hesitated for a moment as if weighing her next words carefully, "You and Julia had a son...Wyatt was it? Is he signed? I've heard he's pretty good. Maybe I'll stop by and see him while I'm in town. I wouldn't mind shopping him around; in fact I know a few labels that would jump through hoops to sign him."

Cooper's anger flared. The last thing he needed was for Wyatt to be thrown back into painful memories by this doppelganger. He was suspicious and wary of this girl and wasn't about to let her insinuate herself into his life or that of his family. "What makes you think he would be the slightest bit interested in what you have to offer? Wyatt knows where his best interests lie. That's one trip you can cancel."

"He's my cousin, even if he is once or twice removed; it's the least I can do to stop by and meet him while I'm here." Gemma started for the stairs but hesitated and, looking over her shoulder at Cooper, she smiled, "I have a small house in Millwood near my aunt and uncle. Stop by if you're in the area and we can talk more about Jimmy." Almost an afterthought, she added, "I wouldn't mind hearing about Julia if you don't have a problem talking about her. It was nice meeting you, Cooper."

She turned to leave without waiting for a response leaving him stunned. Cooper watched her descend the stairs, more suspicious than before, deeply disturbed and confused. He had no idea what to think of this woman and her motives. Access, definitely she was after that. He hadn't missed the subtle moves, something he'd normally ignore, but he couldn't with this woman, so much too much like Jules, the way she walked, the way she looked at him. Contemplating stopping by to run down some memory lane she'd never even walked with Jules, hell no, he couldn't do that.

"Damn it!" he growled realizing how much time had passed, and he knew he had already blown apart the new beginning that he wanted with Beth. Once again, he’d put her second, and he’d done it after pressing her to come with him, after insisting that since Ryan was out of the picture, he’d have no problem making things right on his end. And once again, something had gone wrong.

Before his cell was out of his pocket, Beth had come through the door and headed for him. The expression she wore was hard to read and he knew that any apology would seem hollow but when she reached for him, put her arms securely around him and murmured against his chest, a quiet reassurance, he relaxed and leaned back into her. She’d known, somehow she’d known he needed her. Instead of leaving, she’d come back for him. They were going to get through this. He didn't need to tell her about Gemma. "Let's go home baby."

----------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 18

Sessions 22 - You Need to be Here

2010-03-08T13:53:00.001-08:00

The whole world's racing by
And no words can describe how this feels inside
You need to be here, you need to be here with me
They come and go so fast, these moments never last
So you need to be here, you need to be here with me

soundtrack: You Need to be Here ~ Hoobastank

Wildcat Stadium - Benefit for Performing Arts, 8:42PM

Pacing between the stacks of equipment, Cooper watched Storm Warning as they moved into the last set. If they hadn't booked the benefit concert months ago and featured Storm Warning as the opening act Cooper would have found another band. Tyler's performance was lackluster. Shaun avoided eye contact with Stevie. The energy in their music was gone; they were doing nothing more than phoning it in and even that sucked. "Everything all right Coop?" Slim had walked up quietly behind him.

He turned to Slim, shrugged, trying to mask the unease he felt and glanced back at the press door for the hundredth time. "Yeah...you haven't seen Beth, have you?"

"Not since you asked ten minutes ago."

Choosing to indulge Slim's sarcasm he muttered, "She's probably waiting until Storm Warning finishes." Cooper looked down at the stage once more his face drawn tightly as he stood with his arms folded.

"Probably...you still thinking about touring again?" Slim asked him, his tone casual but he watched him carefully. On edge, distracted, Cooper continued to impatiently stride around, all the while shooting glances back at the door.

"I've got some details I need to work out before that's going to happen but yes, I am."

They both watched as Stevie rose from behind her kit and waved to the crowd as she joined the other two for a bow before filing off the stage behind Shaun and toward the clubhouse doors. "Any chance Stevie would be one of those details?"

Tyler briefly, and without much interest, acknowledged the benefit performance crowd again and strode offstage in the other direction without a backwards glance. "Yes she is," Cooper agreed, thoughtfully watching Tyler.

"All right," Slim remarked, "then we need to address it soon. I'll get in front of it. If things go sideways with them, and I have no doubt they will, we need to be prepared." Briefly resting his hand on Coop's shoulder, Slim strode away and began barking orders at the crew.

Wanting to move away from the chaos, Cooper stepped out onto the balcony that led to the catwalk that would take them onstage. Absorbed in his thoughts, he jumped, startled, as someone lightly stroked his back. Beth pulled back, startled herself and apologized, "Sorry! I thought you were expecting me."

He drew a long breath of relief, slid his arm around her waist and smiled down into her eyes. She didn't want to be here, not with Stevie in the same venue, and it had taken a good deal of effort on his part to cajole and seduce a promise from her. He'd told himself she'd keep that promise, but as hours dragged by, he'd begun to worry. They had to start rebuilding trust. This benefit performance, close to home, was supposed to be that new beginning for both of them. "You're a couple of hours late. What happened? Did they give you trouble out front?"

"Just waiting for the main event, that's all." She touched his mouth with her fingertips, her expression serious, uncertain, and said to him, "You really didn’t think I’d stand you up, did you?"

“It crossed my mind,” Cooper admitted.

Beth’s attention drifted away from him toward the door that Stevie just exited. They exchanged a wary glance until Stevie abruptly turned and walked out, Beth's eyes following the direction Stevie had gone. “Hey,” he warned her, his voice gentle but his grip on her shoulders hard. “Let it go. It’s over. We’re not looking back. Fuck the past; that was our deal. I don’t want you thinking about anybody but me tonight. Got it?”

For a heartbeat she didn’t respond, and then she smiled and slowly ran her hand down his bare arm. “Then get out there and make sure I don’t.”

"Let's do this," Heydon's voice cut into the moment and Cooper looked up. The rest of the band stood waiting for him to take the lead, looking to him the way they always did to set the pace. Danny drummed absently on his thighs, Aidan waited calmly with a half grin, and Heydon, still seemingly bitter over what Coop could only imagine was resentment for the way things had gone down. But no matter what their differences were off stage, when they performed they were one cohesive unit.

Adrenaline pumped furiously through him; that same rush, the amped up electricity moving him forward with confidence as the legendary rock monster prepared to take the arena.

Halfway into the performance Cooper paused. His shirt clung to him, damp from sweat. Slowly and purposefully Coop pulled it up and over his head eliciting screams from the girls in the audience. The last remnants of winter had melted away and the early spring air felt great against his skin. He bent down, grinning at the girls in front as he reached out and clasped their hands briefly. Even the slightest attention from him had them all believing, fantasizing that he would notice them, take them back stage, each one wanting the world to know she was the one he wanted.

One of them, a girl with ample breasts, followed suit and removed her top and tossed it to him. Laughing, Cooper picked it up, lifting it to his face and inhaling deeply before wiping his face and body with it and tossed it back to her with a seductive smile and a wink. The girl, in turn, looked around proudly. She had been singled out and there was no doubt she would linger after the show hoping to catch his eye again.

Cooper looked back at the band. Walking over to Heydon, he leaned in and said something that caused Heydon to smile as he glanced toward the girls in front. In the next moment Cooper's guitar sang, a loud frenetic wail that was soon joined by Heydon's as well as Aidan's hard driving bass line. This was what it was all about; after all the years they had been together, despite their differences of opinion, when Mercury Rising took the stage they were a well oiled machine.

Cooper felt more alive than he had in ages. He was doing what he loved, performing on stage, and the adrenaline, that natural high fueled him. It was a part of who and what he was. He had already made up his mind that he needed it, wanted it, and with Beth's blessing he planned to make that happen. Ever since the beginning, with Julia, with Stevie, with all the women who blew in and out of his life, it all lead to this moment, where he was now. This benefit performance was just the beginning.

Strutting around the stage, giving it everything in his impressive arsenal, Cooper put on a show for his girl who stood by the back of the stage and watched him, waited for him, wanted him and supported him; it was what he dreamed of.

Finishing the last song in the set, they took their bows and ran off the stage. "I hope that performance met with your approval," his eyes were lit with the energy and passion he took from the music as he smiled down at Beth.

He was dripping with sweat now, and her skin glowed with the heat, fever hot against his as she brushed up against his body, shouting above the crowd and breathless. “You’re incredible! You’re so going to do this – you’re going to go on tour again! I want you to do it! Don’t tell me you won’t!”

"When have I said no to you baby,” he grinned sucking in the heat and the sexual energy, electric between them, and impulsively dove into what he’d been considering. “You're coming with me. I know what you want, and I’m taking care of that, but this is what I want. I want you with me, I want you there. You come with me."

Laughing, Beth stepped even closer and whispered in his ear. "I always do come with you."

Drawing a quick breath Cooper looked around before shifting his eyes back on her. "I've got one quick encore and a meet and greet upstairs. Wait for me and then we're getting out of here." He started toward the stage before looking back, happier than he had been in years, and caressed her cheek, "I love you baby."

As he turned once more, Cooper stopped suddenly hoping to avoid running straight into someone and the euphoria he felt moments ago left him as instantly as if he had been drenched with a bucket of ice water. The woman blocking him, standing in his way, looking directly at him – Julia. It couldn’t be. He staggered and fought for his balance, found it somehow and angrily confronted her, "Who the hell are you?"

------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 16

Sessions 21 - Your Arms Feel Like Home

2009-12-13T14:09:00.000-08:00

I don't care if I lost everything that I have known
It don't matter where I lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home, feel like home...

soundtrack: Your Arms Feel Like Home - 3 Doors Down

South Beach - Stanfield Residence

Cooper awakened with a start, disoriented, stiff and uncomfortable. Early morning light had begun to filter slowly through the heavy windows casting shadows against the stark white walls. It came hammering back on him as looked at the time and groaned. He had only sat down for a moment and closed his eyes to clear his head and think. That moment had been hours ago.

Cursing vehemently for losing precious hours Cooper stretched to ease his sore muscles, and headed across the silent living room toward the downstairs bathroom. He could use a shower. He could still feel the salt on his skin from the marina last night, on top of road dirt and sweat.

The 6 foot wide photo hung on the wall in front him: himself, playing a Gibson, a photo taken a long time ago. It might, he thought uneasily as he passed it, it might have been taken when he was living with Stevie. He hadn't thought about that photo in years, walking by it, never paying much attention to it. Beth liked it; he thought she did, no, he was sure she did. You're not sure of anything, he told himself wearily.

He splashed water on his face before angrily staring at his reflection. "Where the fuck did you go?" He combed through the house last night looking for something, anything that would lead to where Beth had gone. He came up empty; the house was clean. No clue as to their whereabouts, just an empty, dark house. Not even a note.

Nothing about this felt right. Uneasy, dark anger bubbling to the surface once more Cooper quickly went upstairs. The bed was made; he couldn't stand the thought of her not being in it.

Camilla's words came firing back at him, striking right between the eyes. He had effectively made himself unavailable, and if Beth had tried to reach him, had known where he was...damn he didn't want to think about what she would have felt at that point.

Cooper threw on a clean shirt and pushed through the doors and outside. Early, thin sunlight shone through the trees. Maybe he’d stayed here too long; maybe it was time to get out of this place with all its memories and take her somewhere else. He looked down the street to the west, toward Bay View, groggy, trying to ignore the ache in his neck and back. How long ago had things started to come apart? Heydon was on his case; Stevie, that was bad and he'd missed that completely; and now this. He could make it right, he'd always been able to make it right, but first he had to find her.

He’d make a call, try that first. If that didn’t work, taking a deep and troubled breath, he knew where he had to go.

South Beach and University

Cooper punched in the number on his cell as he started down the stairs. He knew Wyatt would be in class or heading to one but he was going to get what he could from him. "Wyatt, have you heard from Eric or Nate?"

Wyatt had barely answered the phone before Cooper went at him. Throwing his guitar over his shoulder he started toward the door. "Hello Dad, nice to hear from you too."

"All right cut the sarcasm. I can't get in touch with Beth or the boys. Wyatt, they're gone, when I got home last night the house was empty. Have you talked to either of them?"

Wyatt's confusion was evident in his voice. "Yeah I talked to Eric yesterday. Beth didn't leave a note? Call you? Nothing? Look Dad, Eric was asking me about you and Stevie, nothing specific but he did sound a little...freaked out about it like there was something serious going on." There was a brief hesitation before Wyatt continued. "Are you and Stevie..."

"No, damn it! There's nothing between me and Stevie, nothing! What did he say; did you ask him where he was?" Cooper's voice blasted through the phone causing one girl to look strangely at Wyatt as they passed each other between classes.

"I assumed he was home. Why would I think anything else?"

Cooper needed air; he stepped outside where he had left his bike and leaned against a tree, any glimmer of hope at a clue to their whereabouts dashed. He was worn out, his voice shaky as he spoke. "Did he at least sound safe or say anything about Beth?"

"I'm sorry Dad. He didn't tell me anything. Nate walked in, I heard his voice in the background saying something to him and he cut the call off. I wish I could help. Look Dad Beth loves you. Whatever is going on, she'll come home. Don't worry."

Cooper smiled weakly. "I hope you're right Wy. Look I gotta go. If you hear from Eric again, find out whatever you can and please, let him know..let him know I'm trying to find him, trying to find everyone."

South Beach - McDermott Residence

Ryan's place was quiet, no activity inside that Cooper could see. He walked around, glancing upstairs, down the road, and back at the house, uncertain. Ryan might not even live here now; he hadn't been seen around the place in weeks. If Beth had gone back to him, after kicking him to curb...if she had, it wouldn't be easy to get her out. Easy? It would be impossible. Neither of them could go back if she'd done that.

The loud rumble of a bike behind him drew Cooper's attention - and there was McDermott himself. Ryan threw a long leg over the bike, placed his hands on his hips as he stared back at Cooper and then slowly and deliberately walked toward him. Ryan didn't speak; he only glared at Cooper with contempt and anger. Cooper drew a deep breath. Damn he didn't want to come here like this, but he was here, nothing for it but go ahead and come right out with it. "Do you know where Beth is?"

Ryan looked like hell, the side of his face bruised, but he still managed to force a grin on his face even if it didn't reach his eyes. "Why, did you lose her...again? And you thought she came to me. That's priceless. If you're here looking for answers you made a serious mistake."

Grabbing at the back of Ryan's shoulder as he turned to walk up the stairs, infuriated, convinced the man was playing with him and enjoying it, Cooper shouted at him, "You son of a bitch, you know where she is, don't you!"

Ryan wheeled around to face Cooper once more, knocking aside his hand. "What if I do? What are you going to do with her? Nail her up on your wall? Hurt her again? You think there's any chance in the world I'm going to help you find her? I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll let you walk out of here alive. For her sake. Now get the fuck off my lawn."

South Beach and Chinatown

"Rayne! Hey can you hear me?" It had taken half the day before he’d gotten her to answer. The sky had begun to darken into twilight over the bay and the marina, and now Cooper's anger and frustration were reaching catastrophic proportions. His body shook with rage; he needed answers. Squeezing the cell tightly in his fist he blasted in the mouthpiece. "Rayne damn it! Answer me!"

He heard music, laughter coming through the receiver. Cooper paced down the street, shouting into the phone again until she finally answered, "Yeah hang on hang a sec got to get out of shit wait a minute ok what?"

She was drunk. He knew it before she’d said half a dozen words, and it stunned him. If she had a problem with alcohol, he had not known it. If he hadn’t known that, what did he know about her? Yanking back hard on the anger, he tried again. "Rayne, I want to know what’s going on with you, but I need to take care of this first. Where is your mother?"

Her voice, slurred, drunk, but intense, as if she was mouthing the cell, came right back. "Oh yeah! Damn I did pay for that, didn’t I pay for that? Put it on this card not the other one. Dad? They're by a bridge. There's a very big bridge. You go take care of all of that because you do not want it to be like Ryan. It can’t end up like Ryan! Ok? I have to go."

The phone went dead leaving him disturbed and deeply uneasy as he stared at the phone. Rayne’s incoherent response, meant to be helpful as far as he could tell, left him with no answers and even more questions.

Bay View - Taylor Residence

Cooper kicked aside the gate, the thing was hanging on one hinge as it was, and stood in the front garden looking up at the house. He'd been here before a few times but not like this. With any luck he'd find Gayl at home and Rafe out somewhere, anywhere, on the other side of the damned world.

He took a few seconds to think about how he wanted to deal with this if Rafe was here while walking through overgrown bushes toward the front door. Nothing.

Tired, close to exhausted, nothing came through. Fuck Rafe. If Rafe was here, he was here.

"Cooper?" Gayl opened the door and started to join him out on the front porch. "Beth's been -- "

"She hasn’t been here." Rafe loomed up behind him, coming out of nowhere, cutting her off. "We haven’t seen her, and yeah, I know she’s not where you’d like to have her."

Taken by surprise, he hadn't heard him coming, Cooper wheeled around hard. He drew a long angry and weary breath and shot back at him,”I'm tired of the damned games Rafe. Don't get in my way, not this time. Where is she?"

Rafe cast one glance at his wife, careful, an exchange that seemed to go both ways, then whipped long light eyes back at him. Wind from the beach tossed black hair over his shoulders, and Rafe rocked back, crossed his arms, and shook his head and aimed that feral smile at him. "I'm going to be in your way. I'm always going to be in your way. You don't go through my wife, and you sure as hell don't go through me to get to her. If she wants you, she'll let you know. Think about it – you know you can have what you want, but you can’t have everything you want. Good night, Cooper. And don’t trip over my Christmas tree on your way out.”

"Wait..." Cooper turned, trying not to clench his hands, and looked down at Gayl. She smiled, and said softly, "Rockwood. Merry Christmas, Cooper."

Rockwood - Near Bay Bridge

Rockwood - 14 Bridgewater Drive

It don't matter where I lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home, they feel like home to me
Hold on, you're home to me, just hold on, you're home to me...

---------------------

NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 10

Sessions 20 - Love Walks In

2009-11-29T10:05:00.000-08:00

Ooh, and there she stands in a silken gown
Silver lights shinin' down

And then you sense a change
Nothin' feels the same
All your dreams are strange
Love comes walkin' in

soundtrack: Love Walks In - Van Halen

Bay View - Lakin's Beach House: Monday, 7:42PM

Aidan walked gingerly across the sandy driveway that stretched out in front of Lakin's bungalow grateful that he had put the top up in his Jag before driving over. Although it was warm, rain pelted down on him and he considered going back to the car to grab his jacket but by then he would be thoroughly soaked.

Gingerly taking the stairs, he tried the door which Lakin never locked and entered. Her house was small, no, it was tiny. He asked her to move in with him after they got engaged but she loved this place and wanted to stay through the end of her lease.

Aidan found her sitting at the small table in her kitchen, probably doing the crossword, and smiled. He could be happy living here with her in spite of the size of the place. It was quiet, peaceful, and remote. He didn't need a mansion, he just needed her. It made the news he brought with him all the more bitter.

"Hi baby," Aidan's soft-spoken voice greeted her. Lakin looked up, briefly distracted, and then returned the warm smile.

"Hello yourself," she set down the paper and continued, "Are you drenched?"

She rose and gracefully walked over to him sliding one tanned arm around his waist and the other gently grasping his chin and planted a kiss on his mouth. "I was just looking for DJs in the paper."

"You might want to hold off on that baby. I'm afraid I have some news."

Aidan walked out to the deck beyond the kitchen and stared out over the long stretch of deserted beach and ocean. They had changed their wedding plans a few times already and Aidan wished he had just taken her away and married her the minute he popped the question. Giving her a spectacular wedding meant a lot to him but something always derailed their plans.

Lakin followed him out there, put her arms around him and murmured against his back, "Whatever it is, we will deal with it Aidan. I love you and I don't need all the glitz. I just want to marry you, anywhere and anytime."

Rain danced off the freshly painted wood railing, dripped rhythmically from the gutters as the surf pounded against the shore. Aidan still felt somehow like he was letting Lakin down and allowing their wedding to take a back seat to all the drama with Cooper and Mercury Rising. She deserved better and yet she took it all in stride. He was a very lucky man.

Aidan turned to face her. Disappointment and regret was all written all over his face. "I hate having to keep postponing. At some point, we won't even be able to rent a venue for the reception when they see us coming. I don't want to wait any longer Lakin."

She stared up at him eyes shining in the soft light. "Aidan, let's just elope. I don't want to wait either. We can run off and just do it."

"I was sort of hoping you would feel that way. Are you sure Lakin?" He searched her face for any hint of sorrow.

"Of course I'm sure. We'll pick a date tonight and nothing will stand in our way. I've never been to Vegas, you know. We could do it there!"

Aidan lifted her and spun her around in his arms, joy shining through his wide smile. "I love you, you know that?" He kissed her thoroughly, hoisted her up onto his shoulder and carried her to the bedroom

South Beach - Mitchell Residence: Wednesday, 1:17AM

Unable to sleep Peri pulled on a sweater and jeans and slipped downstairs pausing to watch Saffron, her new little kitten, as she slept under the stairs. Saffron was curled up in a tiny ball of fur, the massive bed she slept in making her look even smaller than she was. It was not unlike how Peri felt surrounded by huge empty rooms of the massive house she had shared with Heydon and their children.

She switched on the desk lamp in the library and booted up her computer. Peri had been frequenting chat rooms. She was successful and outgoing and didn't need to hide behind the anonymity, but she enjoyed the playful atmosphere and had met some nice people. One of them was a man she knew as metrognome. To her surprise, they had made an instant connection. In the months they had been chatting, she had come to learn many things about him including the fact that he was smart, recently divorced, and an art and music lover. He made her laugh, something she hadn't done in a long while, and Peri looked forward to their online time together.

Logging into the site, her heart leapt when she saw the immediate private message from him pop up on her screen.

metrognome: Hi there semi-precious...can't sleep?
semi-precious: Insomnia. You?
metrognome: I'm a night owl, remember?
semi-precious: LOL! Yes I remember.
metrognome: We really have to stop meeting like this...
semi-precious: You want to stop chatting? I understand...
metrognome: No that isn't it. I want to stop meeting like this. I want...
semi-precious: You want what?
metrognome: To meet in person.

Peri stared at the flashing cursor on her monitor. He wanted to meet. Thinking about it, what did she have to lose, she was single and she liked the guy. What harm would there be in meeting? As she thought about it another message popped up.

metrognome: Are you there?
semi-precious: I'm here...I don't know...you could be a stalker or serial killer ;p
metrognome: Do you really feel that way?
semi-precious: No...but I could be an ugly fat ogre with warts.
metrognome: I wouldn't care. You're beautiful to me already. Meet me.

Bay View - Seaside Bistro: Thursday, 2:09PM

The next afternoon Peri walked confidently toward the cafe feeling lighter than she had in months. She arrived early, excited and eager to meet the man who had entranced her online. He told her he would be dressed in blue, his favorite color. She told him she would be dressed to kill. Her eyes swept through the crowd expectantly when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Smiling, she turned to face him.

"Danny! What are you doing here?" Peri hissed as she brushed his hand away.

"I have a date." Danny grinned at her, that same boyish charm chipping away at her resolve, tearing down the walls that she used to keep him at arm's length. He was infuriating, really. "You look incredible Peri; you always knew how to turn heads." His eyes slowly travelled over her body. She felt her cheeks flush slightly at the thrill it gave her.

Peri tried to shake off the feeling; after all, she was meeting another man, a man that she felt connected to. "A date...really...in the middle of the afternoon at a cafe? You expect me to believe that? Do the women you date even come out during the day? Well for your information I also have a date so if you will excuse me..."

He cut her off mid sentence, "Peri, it's me." Danny reached toward her and Peri withdrew from his touch.

Exasperated and somewhat irritated, she released a sigh and snapped, "What are you talking about? You know what I don't even want to know. I'm meeting someone Danny so go away, leave me alone."

Anxious now, Peri scanned the crowd of people that wandered along the street and in the cafe. Her heart was pounding and her thoughts grew increasingly muddled and confused. Why was he here of all places? She exhaled once more, trying to regain her composure, trying to shove down the misgivings that began to creep into her head.

"Peri, it's me," Danny repeated more softly. "Metrognome."

Peri struggled to keep her warring emotions in check. There was no way that Daniel Whitney was the man she talked with for hours on the nuances of texture and motion, of willow and vine. "You?" she gasped. "How could you! You jerk! You ass!"

Danny laughed. "I thought it was pretty clever..."

"You think this is funny? Why would you do something like this to me?" Peri pushed him back but Danny didn't move.

Peri tried to walk away but Danny stopped her by placing his arms firmly around her. His face finally grew serious, almost pained as he spoke. "It was the only way I knew you would let me in and see who I really am. You always used that screen name, you think I could forget that...or anything else about you? You liked the man you got to know online Peri, he made you laugh, made you feel wanted and that's why you're here. I am that man. I love you, I always have. Please give us a chance."

She stood silent for several moments. What she needed was distance; she couldn't think clearly with him so close. The hopeful expression he wore turned to defeat and then to resolve. "I won't give up Peri. I'm going to fight for you as long as it takes."

He released her and began to walk away when she gently laid her head against his back and placed her hands on his bare shoulders to keep him from leaving. "Don't go," she murmured quietly.

When Danny turned around Peri's expression no longer held anger in it. Her eyes shone brightly like the gemstone her mother named her after as Peri smiled up at him and teased, "Metrognome...that was the best you could come up with?"

Las Vegas, NV - Candlelight Wedding Chapel: Friday, 9:26PM

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NEXT CHAPTER: Passages 9

Sessions 19 - It Only Hurts

2009-11-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

It only hurts when your eyes are open
Lies get tossed and truth is spoken
It only hurts when that door gets open
Dreams are lost and hearts are broken.

soundtrack: It Only Hurts - Default

Bay View - Marina District Midnight

He should have come up with a better way to handle that. Cooper headed back down Lyon Street toward his bike, mentally reviewing the confrontation with Stevie, already second guessing himself.

He still hadn't decided how to discuss it with Beth, but he knew he had to include an apology. She'd insisted there was a problem. She'd been angry and frustrated, and she'd been right. He was going to make things right and get the hell out of here for a while, take her on vacation somewhere, maybe just the two of them if he could find someone to watch the twins for a few days. As difficult as they'd been the last couple of weeks, that might not be easy.

Pausing next to his bike, Cooper glanced down the sandy boardwalk as the neon sign on the restaurant sputtered and buzzed. Street lights splashed across beach grass and illuminated a strip of stores, deceptively low key and downscale. The marina at the far end was dark at this time of night, but the beach bar was open and crowded, the laughter and music rising above the slap of the waves against the marina pier. Cooper hesitated, tempted, considered stopping in for a drink, thought maybe not, he wanted to go home, when the light by the bicycle rack caught a shock of red hair.

Cooper sucked in a quick breath, but it wasn't McDermott, just some skinny kid locking up his bike and leaping up the steps, shaking the sand off his feet. Cooper watched him, wondering again where McDermott had gone - he'd made some private inquiries, uneasy about not knowing, but had come up blank.

He started to shrug it off, looked back once again and there was Heydon, leaning back in a chair and engaged in an intense conversation with Tyler. Heydon's back was turned to him, but on the other side of the table lounged Cam, and she definitely saw him.

He hadn't said more than half a dozen words to Heydon since the blow up and didn't want to take the time to say anything now. Heydon was one of his oldest and closest friends though. He could take five minutes to say hello, then get out of here. Cooper reluctantly started down the boardwalk toward the bar.

Cooper made it up the first step, avoiding discarded sandals, suntan lotion, very large squashed bugs. "Hell yes I'm looking at options," Tyler was saying. "Shaun may be able to keep it together but I'm tired of the damned drama. Coop can't keep his hands off Stevie and it's coming apart. I don't want to be locked up on some bus with the two of them while this shit is going down."

Heydon, bare feet touching Camilla’s manicured toes, set a glass of dark beer down on the table and shook his head. "I don't know man, you're taking a big risk. You're sure you can't put up with it?"

Cooper froze. Camilla snared him with her gaze, holding it, tight and relentless, and let fly a ringing tangle of words. "Hi Coop come on over here and say hi are you alone I don't see Beth." She paused, and added, "Or Stevie."

Heydon moved abruptly, getting to his feet, while Tyler turned and stared and looked trapped and embarrassed. "Hey Coop," he muttered. "I'm just ah going somewhere. I was going home because I have something I need to do there. At home."

Camilla smiled, although the smile was directed not at Tyler but at Cooper. "Bye sweetie and don't forget to turn off the stove next time because that's how you burn down things, when you leave things burning you should have turned off. Coop are you going to sit down with us or are you going to stand there or maybe you left something burning too."

The tall beach grass fluttered behind her, dry and rattling in the breeze off the bay. Like a sniper nestled in the grass, her target directly in the cross hairs, she didn't drop that smile one inch. Cooper ignored her, glanced at Tyler's broad retreating back, and turned to Heydon. "I was in the area," he said. "I thought I'd say hi, maybe buy you a drink."

Heydon rubbed the back of his sunburned neck and studied him in silence for a long, uncomfortable moment. "Suit yourself," he finally returned.

Cooper’s temper started to flare. He struggled with it, shutting it down. Maybe he'd acted too precipitously, maybe he should have discussed it first, but he still didn't intend to go back to a full tour schedule. Heydon needed to get over it, find another way to make up his cash deficit.

"You know what, I'll talk to you later," he said to Heydon, and looking pointedly at Cam, "I really want to get home."

Camilla leaned way back in the chair, scraping wood against wood as the chair hit the deck rail behind her and sending an empty beer ran rattling down across the deck into the dry grass. "Now why would you want to go there, Coop? Beth moved out. I think it was today actually it was tonight or this afternoon sometime today because I heard she got out after you left to meet Stevie. You think she knew you were meeting Stevie? You do know she left. Don’t you know that?” The sniper squeezing the trigger and firing, and waiting, watching the strike.

Cooper's breath caught in his chest. Was she jerking him around? No, Cammie didn't make up shit like that but that couldn’t be true, and how the hell would she know. Beth wouldn’t do that to him; she would have yelled, said she was leaving, she would have called. If she’d found out he was meeting Stevie and tried to call…his cell...he'd turned it off this evening before he'd met Stevie. If she'd tried to call, she would have gotten a terse message and no response.

Heydon glanced at Camilla, then back at Cooper, and his expression subtly changed, a shadow of sympathy crossing his face. "Maybe you should give her a call," he offered quietly.

Yeah, he should definitely do that and right now. His voice stiff, Cooper ground out, "Later."

The boardwalk yawned before him, a long empty stretch between him and his bike and some small measure of privacy where he could call without looking like an ass in front of god knows who. Cooper rigidly controlled his pace, forcing himself to walk, sand crunching under his boots, ten more steps, five.

He broke into a run, ducked into the shadow between the restaurant and the dark street, and grabbed the cell out of his pocket. For a split second he hesitated and looked back in case someone was following him, and then swore under his breath, fuck them, all of them, anyone and all of them. None of it mattered if she was gone. He hit the speed dial.

It rang. And rang. Ten times. Fifteen. Nothing but long, soft purrs, signals going out and landing nowhere.

Rockwood – 14 Bridgewater Drive, 1 AM

“Did you leave that note?”

Standing in the overgrown driveway behind Nate, Eric answered his twin brother in a quiet, firm voice, “No, I dumped it down the disposal, just before we left. Mom didn’t go back in and look for it.”

Eric took a few steps across the broken stone, shivering, glancing at the suitcases still left waiting for them to bring inside. They’d already hauled a ton of shit in there. Nate was staring at something across the dark road that might be a barn and an old house with a broken porch. Trees were growing up right through them. Things rustled, plants or animals or something, maybe something large. Were there bears out here?

“What about the cell?” Nate pressed his brother. Turning his back to whatever might be out there in the dark, Nate leaned back against the hood of the car. It might still be warm.

Why was he the one who always had to execute these plans? “Took care of that too. She won't even know he's blocked.”

They both looked back at the house. Rayne had been in there a long time, until a few minutes ago when she tore off and drove over the mailbox on her way out, leaving them to prop it back up again. Their mother had crossed back and forth in the light for a while, pacing, then went out back or upstairs but they couldn’t see her now. “Asshole,” Nate muttered. “Fucking asshole. He’s gonna be fucking out of his mind.”

Eric let it go for a minute. He was on board with this but it hadn’t been his idea, and he still wasn’t convinced it was going to work the way Nate thought it would. “You don’t think he'll run off with Stevie?”

Nate shrugged, straightened and ran his hand through his hair, sparing another suspicious glance at the deep shadow under the trees. Neither of them liked this place. It was supposed to be temporary and couldn’t be temporary enough. “We talked about this. He won’t do it. You think too much.”

Eric shoved at a clod of dirt with the toe of his boot. They usually agreed on almost everything but he wasn’t as certain about his father’s intentions as his twin seemed to be. Nate blew up faster. “Maybe not but you know what we saw.”

“Get real,” Nate scoffed. “She's not the only one. He’s not running off with her."

“She's the one he keeps going back to,” Eric pointed out again. “She's the one with her hands down his pants in the men's room.”

Nate tossed his head back and looked irritated, looked like their dad when he was pissed about something. And the thing was, he had the voice and the hands, and the talent, and they both knew it. He strode off toward the back of the house, skirting the pile of suitcases and the car, and turned and growled, “I was there, Eric, looking through the same window as you. I’m telling you, he won't be thinking about her, not when he can't find us. Let her try to take his mind off that.”

Cold, edged wind blew through the pines, moaning like an unhappy animal. It was really dark. Off in the distance a few lights blinked but they might as well have been a hundred miles away in another town, and that surf was as cold as the wind. They looked at each other.

“We did good this time,” Nate assured his brother. “He didn’t even answer the phone tonight. You know he was with her. We did good. Payback for Mom.”

Eric watched the lights across the water, a whole lot of nothing out there. Whatever happened, none of this was good. Nate was waiting. Nate wanted him to say it. “Yeah,” he agreed, reluctantly, still not sure he believed it, pretty damned sure he didn’t believe all of it, but he said it. It wouldn't take their dad long to work through this, so he wasn't even sure how effective it was going to be, but Nate was right about one thing, it was payback.

Whether or not their mother even wanted it, whether it should have been directed at their dad in the first place, and when was he going to stop going along with everything Nate wanted to do, all of that…it was all too late now.

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NEXT CHAPTER: Chameleon Chapter 5

Sessions 18 - Hangnail

2009-11-02T21:03:00.001-08:00

My hopes just fell, and I can't see
The reason why, why there is blood on my sleeve
And all this time, I thought it mine
But it's not, it's yours...

soundtrack: Hangnail - Nickelback

Bay View - Harbor Place 10 PM

Cooper moved fluidly down Harbor Street each heavy footfall echoed the steady beating of his heart as the aroma of garlic wafted from the nearby Italian restaurant. Stopping briefly at the corner Cooper inhaled and took a hard left heading for the crosswalk.

It had been a long time since Cooper had been in this part of Bay View but it hadn't changed much. Making his way around the corner, he headed toward Lyon Street and stopped before he reached the intersection and considered what he was about to do. The kiss he shared with Stevie, that kiss had been a bucket of ice water thrown squarely in his face. It was not his intention to seduce her, never what he wanted. Acutely aware of what his actions had put in motion, he needed to deal with it hard and fast.

She was waiting at the bistro sipping a coffee and looking pensive. Cooper hesitated, maybe this wasn't the best idea after all, meeting her like this, and he considered leaving when she looked up and smiled at him warmly.

At that moment he realized that everything was going to change for all of them. His impulsive decision to quit touring, made in one heated moment when he had challenged McDermott, had not brought him closer to his wife or his family. It seemed to have had the opposite effect. Beth was distant and wary, Rayne openly confrontational. His twin sons - Nate glared and Eric avoided him. The band was coming apart; he was losing his closest friends. And now this thing with Stevie, an undeniable and ominous shift in their relationship from friendship to groping in the men’s room in a photographer’s studio.

Cooper glanced to his left and then made his way toward her more aware than ever of what he wanted, what he needed, and what was best. Stevie rose from her seat and reached out to embrace him, an embrace he did not return.

"Is everything all right?"

Whether it was concern or confusion on her face Cooper was not sure. His reply was as stiff as his posture, "Everything's fine. Walk with me."

Stevie hesitated, and then grabbed her bag hurrying to catch up. "Sure. Where are we going?"

Music from a dance club above them filled the streets as they walked in silence. Whatever conversation passed between them was nothing more than casual pleasantries, constant chatter mostly from Stevie, awkward and uncomfortable. They moved further down the street through people, past myriad shops and closer to the wharf until Stevie stopped short and grabbed Cooper's arm.

"This is ridiculous," she snapped. "Don't put what happened at the photo shoot all on me Cooper. You were in the moment as much as I was. So if you have something to say about that, just say it but do not pretend it didn't mean something." She stood arms folded and waited.

Cooper pulled her toward a corner of the patio before responding. "We crossed a line Stevie, it never should have happened. What the hell were you thinking anyway, that I was going to take you right there in the men's room? If I hadn't pushed you away..." Cooper looked away, irritation bordering on anger lacing his words.

“If you hadn't pushed me away, you just might have. You wanted it at that moment as much as I did," Stevie's voice was low and steady. "Did you ever consider what would have happened between us if I had come for you when you left Julia for good?"

Agitated, Cooper paced back and forth and then leveled his gaze on her. When had this happened? Had Stevie been thinking about ‘what if’ for all these years? He hadn’t suspected it, always assumed she understood that the flirtation was nothing more than that. He didn’t want to hurt her, but this had gone past flirtation into something he didn't want to deal with.

Releasing an exasperated breath, Cooper pulled her toward him and firmly held her shoulders, and then dropped his hands to his side. “Stevie, I’m going to be honest; I never considered it, never thought about going back to you, and it wouldn’t have gotten you anywhere if you’d come after me. If I’d wanted you, I would have done something about it. Listen to me - I take responsibility for behaving like an ass, giving you the impression I wanted more than friendship, and that damned ‘moment’ in the men’s room, doesn’t matter how much I might have wanted to take you, that was not going to happen. I have the woman I want, and she gives me what I need, everything I need. I don’t need you and I don’t love you.”

Stevie held his gaze for several moments. "I don't believe you Cooper. Beth isn't equipped to understand this lifestyle, and that is exactly why you gave up something that makes you thrive. What you needed was someone who would have fought hard to make you see that. Maybe you need to think about that."

His mouth tightened as he stared down at her. The slam pissed him off. Equipped? Of all people, Stevie should realize how fucked up he’d been when he’d split with Julia, and how far he’d come, and he hadn’t made it on his own. “I don’t know where you get the idea that she doesn’t understand what she’s dealing with. She let me know what she thought about my decision – she’s capable of making her point – but it was my decision. I’m going to make this very clear - no one, not you or anyone else, is in any position to tell me who I should have married or what I need.”

Stevie dropped her gaze, her hands clenched. Cooper expected her to come back at him, she always did, but not this time. She looked down and said nothing.

Cooper abruptly turned. "I said what I came to say. I'm taking you back to the bistro."

They walked back in silence until they reached Lyon Street again. Cooper stopped, took Stevie's arm and turned her toward him. "I don’t need you to fix me anymore, Stevie. Whatever issues I have, I’ll work those out with my wife. But you and I...this ends right now." He shook his head, brushing away any regret, and swept cold, hard eyes back to her. "Goodbye Stevie."

Bay View - Holloway Residence

Shaun finished cleaning the kitchen and stood at the sink rinsing his hands when he saw her reflection in the window. Without looking up he greeted her. "You're home late. Do you want something to eat?"

Stevie walked silently to the kitchen table and sank into a chair. "I'm not hungry, thanks. Is Dev asleep?"

Walking over to her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, bent down and kissed her head and replied, "Yeah, he's asleep. You're tense baby; come on, get up and I'll give you a massage." As he began kneading her shoulders Shaun idly asked, "So where've you been?"

Shaun felt her tighten again as she rose and turned to face him. "I met Coop downtown; he wanted to talk."

Struggling to keep his face neutral Shaun stepped back and placed his hands on his hips. "Is that so...and you neglected to tell me this before?"

"Something happened..." she started.

"No shit!" Anger in his voice slowly began to make its way to his face. Whatever the something was, he’d been anticipating it, holding off saying anything to Cooper about it, figuring she would listen to him when he asked her to stay away from him. And that, he thought, watching her avoid looking at him, that had been a mistake.

"Shaun just let me explain before you go assuming the worst." He followed her to the living room and waited, silent and angry, for her to continue.

Stevie let out a breath and went right into it. "The other day, at the photo shoot, things got a little out of hand. Cooper lost it, stormed off, and I followed him." She hesitated briefly and then finished, "I kissed him, Shaun. It didn't go any further than the kiss. We...he broke it off. I wish I could say it didn't mean anything to me but I can't."

Shaun stood with his back to the stairwell and held himself still for a moment, a long moment. The damned dishwasher cut in behind him and churned, churned like his stomach. Cooper lost it and stormed off. When didn’t he lose it? His wife had come onto Coop because he stomped around looking unhappy and waiting for Stevie to fix it for him, that’s what he’d done. That’s what he always did. Coop got mad or his wife fucked up or some kind of shit happened, and there was Stevie, picking up the pieces for him, and it looked like she wanted to keep doing it.

His voice eerily quiet, Shaun asked, "So this big talk you had...are you two running off into the sunset? Is that what this is about?"

Stevie hung her head and replied softly, "No. He ended it, the friendship, all of it. I made a terrible, terrible mistake. I'm sorry Shaun, I never meant to hurt you and I do love you, I just..." She stopped mid-sentence as Shaun turned his back on her and ran his hands through his hair.

I just…it was always I just with Cooper. Whatever Cooper needed and whatever Cooper wanted but the deal was, Cooper didn’t need shit. Cooper knew exactly what he was doing. His face was hard, his eyes cold as ice, "I hope that kiss was worth the price Stevie, worth your marriage, your family. But it sure wasn't worth it to Coop."

"Shaun, I'm so sorry," she pleaded, "we can work this out. I swear I will make this up to you, make things right again."

"I can't even look at you right now. Would you have run off with him if you had the chance? You know what; I don't even want to know the answer to that. I've had it. I'm out of here."

"Shaun, please..."

He'd heard enough, and had enough. Without looking back, he held his hand up to stop her, pushed open the door and walked away.

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NEXT CHAPTER: Chameleon Chapter 4